Alessandra Ambrosio Says Gisele’s Babynapping Is Just “A Brazilian Thing.” We Must Investigate.
3 June 2009, 2:30 PM. By Alex Alvarez
Alessandra Ambrosio stood up for fellow Victoria’s Secret model Gisele Bündchen by putting her controversial statement about new husband Tom Brady’s son with ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan into a cultural context. Alessandra explains that, when Gisele said 21-month-old John was “100%” hers, she was just being Brazilian. “We are Brazilian and embrace everyone,” said Alessandra.
What other sorts of behaviors have been excused as being just a “___ thing?” We’ll list some of our own experiences with having to explain - or just balls-out lie about - to others.
- Placing Cereal in the Refrigerator is a Miami Thing
Miami is a hot place. It is a humid place. It is a place overrun with Lovecraftian insects and primordial fungi. If you keep cereal in a non-refrigerated place, it will immediately turn into a soggy gravy-like substance overrun by maggot-lizard-babyheads. We do not care that this does not seem normal to New Yorkers.
- Saying “Get Down from the Car” is a Spanglish Thing
“Bajar del carro” translates to “get down from the car.” Please stop laughing at us when we step out of a vehicle and ask you if you are also getting down. :(
- Speaking Loudly over Cell Phones is a Thing We Get From Our Mom
We mean, you’re far away, right? So we’re going to have to shout. Yes, especially in public. Yes, especially when we’re describing our menstrual cycle. Dude, ERA COMO UN TSUNAMI. You seriously don’t want to hear all about it?
- Not Being Able to Leave the House Without Earrings is a Cuban Thing.
You’re lucky we eschewed patting talcum powder from head to toe and then bathing in agua de violetas, because then we’d never leave the house. Which segues nicely into…
- Being an Hour Late to Everything is a Cuban Thing
You are just going to have to deal with that.
- Talking With our Hands is a Latin Thing
So don’t stand too close. Especially when we have juicy chismes to share. FUACATA!
- Ignoring the General Populace is a New York Thing
If we paid attention to every homeless blind man who walks down the 7 train holding out a cup and singing “these faggots gots to go,” we’d go insane. If we acknowledged hearing a white old man explain to a bewildered young woman that, in “Guatamala,” “they don’t understand transportation, they just tie themselves on top of buses,” we’d get arrested. If we met the eyes of men wacking it on a subway platform at 2 a.m waiting for the god damn fucking G train, we’d be blind. So, as a general rule, you do not exist unless we might want to perhaps sleep with you.
Are there any other examples you guys would like to share?
Pal Sticks Up For Gisele [Us Weekly]
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Storing pots and pans in the oven. I know it’s a Mexican thing but I don’t know if it’s a full-on Latin thing.
Oh, my God…pans in the oven. Totally a Mexican thing. Three of my (non-Mexican) exes have melted pan handles this way with their crazy preheating-without-checking. Where else are you gonna keep ‘em? The fridge, next to the cereal?
If Mexican and Bolivian counts as full-on Latin, then it is. Baking in the house wasn’t too popular porq emptying the oven created a semi-yard sale in our kitchen.
I have a cousin who stores her tupperware in the dishwasher.
I started storing my cookie sheets and cast iron skillets in the oven - but mostly because they remodeled the place I’m living before I moved in and made all the lower doors too small and added a tiny shelf in the one drawer that was made to hold the cookie sheets, so they don’t fit anywhere else in this place.
And yes, forgetting that you have those in the oven then pre-heating does indeed suck.
We did a story about pans in the oven that was brought up by a Nuyorican or Dominican (i can’t remember) from Queens. So, it’s a full-on Latino thing. Though, my family personally never did it. My roommate from Corpus did.
My mother yells and insists its “just her voice,” which is bullshit. I’ve noticed all her sisters say the same thing and several other Latinas have a tendency of yelling at the top of their lungs.
Oh, and throwing your chancletas as part of your (grand)parenting. And, last but not least, obsessing over Padre Alberto. Jesus!
Being an Hour Late to Everything is a Cuban Thing,
No, it’s much bigger than that. It’s CPT (Colored People’s Time) or sometimes called Indian time–in 2 places, on the subcontinent and in northern New Mexico.
Agreed, agreed. We always say Mexican time in Texas.
Yes to all those except for the cereal thing. We didn’t do it, but I know a lot of other fellow Miami people who did.
I’ve been made fun of for the “get down from the car” thing way too many times.
Okay, I always thought get down from the car was a Texas thing that came from getting down from the truck because trucks are raised and you actually do have to get down. I didn’t even know this was weird until I got to NYC. And i totally keep all open grains in the refrigerator because of bugs and mold. My bread and my cereal are in the fridge right now.
“Not Being Able to Leave the House Without Earrings is a Cuban Thing.”
It’s true, we can’t. It’s even in the rule book.
Cubans also store pots and pans in the oven, btw.
I’ve never heard of not being able to leave the house without earrings from Mexicans, but PIERCING BABY GIRLS’ EARS is a total Mexican thing. My friend did it to her daughter ironically.
Cubans, too. The sooner, the better, though we of a younger generation wait a few months, as opposed to weeks, as our parents did.
Oh, and WRT not leaving the house - figuratively. No earrings is almost worse than leaving the house naked. And you can bet a tia or abuela will point it out. >:-(