Marc Anthony And J-Lo’s Relationship Proves Latinos Are Pretty Much Unmarryable

It seems there is always drama of some sort going on at the Lopez-Anthony household. Someone’s always either flirting with Eva Longoria or having his severed head analyzed or throwing up on a cashmere dog or whatever. Sad! The latest rumors have Marc and Jennifer fighting over Marc’s desire to have J-Lo become a stay-at-home mom versus her need to work and hustle and be fabulous:

They’re continually having problems. She has put aside work for marriage and babies and Marc really prefers that because he’s very controlling.  Of course, she’s used to working a lot and wasn’t happy not being busy with music or film. She’s just started filming again and it’s completely brightened her mood. But, now Marc is pissed that she’s not complying with his wishes. I’m not sure if it will last much longer at this rate.

This is, ideally, something a couple discusses before spending thousands of dollars on fertility treatments before conceiving naturally in a windswept field of heather while Jackie Guerra plays a tiny violin. 

What caught our attention the most though, was this comment:

Hispanic men do tend to be controlling though…

Now before we jump down someone’s throat, let’s say that, yes, a culture of machismo does result in many Latino men feeling that they can and should exert control over the women in the life. Then again, there is also a competing stereotype of the “feisty” Latina mom or grandmother swishing about in chancletas and a rolling pin while her hen-pecked husband keeps out of her way and wonders what’s for dinner. So we decided to look at some famous folks who fall into either category. And-a here we go:

Controlling Latinoz RAWR!

1. Marc Anthony

Why? Because he wants his famous wife to stay home taking care of their children (without the help of nannies, natch) instead of making movies about battered wedding planning maids prone to fighting with their mother in laws in an alternate world that exists only in the of a serial killer. So he can be free to make music videos with women who are not his wife. Right, Dayanara? 

2. Pepe Peña

He gets his comidita served to him by Juanita, he bosses his kids and their friends around… and all while being Super Friggin’ Hot. Special cameo appearance by Father Cutié. Kind of:

3. Fernando del Rincón

Yeah, dude thought he had it all and could use force to keep his relationship comfy. But if your special ladyfriend is tearing a hotel room apart in search of a dildo, how comfy can it be?

Latinas Who Have The Upper Hand

1. Mariah Carey

Nick Cannon must pray to every god imaginable seven times a day for getting to marry Mariah. She’s got the money, the name, the fame, the starpower. And do not be fooled by her Hello Kitty barrettes or pink stilettos: We’re pretty sure that, if Mariah can riled Eminem up for years, she can pretty much kick your ass.

2. Adela 

Sure, Pepe might be considered the head of the household, pero make no mistake - it’s Adela who really rules the house. Except when she’s… incapacitated:

3. Jennifer Lopez

Because, you know what? Marc Anthony is incredibly successful in his own right, but he doesn’t hold a candle to the impact Jennifer has had on pop culture. Like it or not, when we think of highly successful - and visible - Latinos, Jennifer’s name will always come before Marc’s.

*Exclusive* Marc: “Just Stay Home and Raise These Darn Kids” [Bossip]