Guys, We Have To Get On Mark Consuelos And Kelly Ripa’s New Reality Competition

Mark Consuelos and Kelly Ripa’s production company, Milojo, is creating a new reality competition that seeks to help innovative women successfully implement their idea for a product that will eventually be hawked on the Home Shopping Network. The show’s name has yet to be revealed and is only known as “The TLC Inventor Show.”

Now, we have an unhealthy obsession with these sorts of reality shows and we feel compelled to support fellow (adorable) Latinos like Mark, so we’re all about this. Based on the cities in which the show’s open casting calls are located (New York, Los Angeles, Chicago and Houston) , we’re inclined to think that Mark and Kelly want to reach out to Latino contestants and audience members. 

People trying out for the show have to come with an explanatory pitch for their invention as well as a working prototype to demonstrate to the judges. 

Let’s try and create an invention that appeals to the Latino market. Something like, say…

A Handy Dandy Translator

This device wouldn’t merely translate words and phrases from one language to another, but would adequately express intentions and insinuations often lost in the interaction between two different cultures. For example: 

“I love you.” (beep boop crackle pop) “I would straight up take a shank to any motherfluffer who would cause you pain.”

“Oh, you’ll love my parents!” (beep boop crackle pop) “Please, please do not think we’re weird when the dinner conversation inevitably turns to where in Cuba we’ll each be buried.”

“Nothing’s wrong.” (beep boop crackle pop) “You had better ask me seven more times so that I know you actually care.”

“I’ll be ready in five minutes.” (beep boop crackle pop) “You’d better sit down with a copy of Ulysses.”

What do you think. Can we make it happen? (Feel free to offer more translations.)

Open Casting Call Information [Milojo]