GOP Rusty Depass Called Michelle Obama A Gorilla On His Facebook Page

We love a good, racialiscious scandal here at Guanabee, so when the first lady, who happens to be a black, gets called, in so many words, a gorilla, it makes the little hairs inside our nostrils stand on end in anticipation of the media shitstorm to follow. This weekend, it seems some South Carolina Republican activist of note, (of note because he makes edgy comments on his Facebook page), named William B. “Rusty” DePass, Jr. wrote this comment in response to the news of an escaped gorilla in the Columbia, S.C. area:

I’m sure it’s just one of Michelle’s ancestors - probably harmless.

Oh, word? Okay, okay, okay. We can already anticipate his defense. He’s going to say this was a comment about the Evolution vs. Creationism debate.

I am as sorry as I can be if I offended anyone. The comment was clearly in jest. The comment was hers, not mine. She made a recent remark about humans descending from apes.

No one in the press has been able to find the alleged comment. Or Rusty’s Facebook page, which has been taken down.

If we’ve said it once, we’ve said it a thousand times. Huffing paint thinner and Facebooking don’t mix. Makes it hard to keep the racism a secret. Shhhh. FitsNews, a conservative website with a sense of humor (who knew?) broke this whole story this weekend and managed to get a comment from the first lady today who said:

It’s sad that there are those who still harbor such hate in their hearts, but I forgive him.

We don’t! Fuck that mouthbreather. FMN also made this hilarious fantasy sequence video of Michelle telling the people of South Carolina, amongst other things:

Listen up fools, I’m in the White House now. And you and your cracker-ass friends down here in God’s country can jump down, turn around and pick my sexy, black ass a bale of cotton.

It’s just how she would say it. But, you know, sleeveless.

GOP activist DePass apologizes after joking on Facebook that gorilla is related to Michelle Obama [NY Daily News]