Mujeres, Please Just Tell Us When You Want It
23 June 2009, 11:29 AM. By Alejandro Paz
A study published recently in the journal Personality and Individual Differences asked forty women between ages 19 and 22 to list the types of opening lines they might use to signal their interest in dating a man. 40 different men and women were then asked to assess the directness of each category of approach. Here are the rankings from direct to subtle:
- Directly ask out on a date: Want to go get dinner?
- Ask if single: Do you have a girlfriend?
- Give out phone number, or ask for a call: You should call me.
- Give a compliment: I like your hair.
- Ask about shared interests: Do you watch The Wire?
- Indirectly hint at a date: What are you doing later this weekend?
- Say something funny/sexual humour: Wanna make out?
- Suggest familiarity: Have we met before?
- Personal interest questions: How was your weekend?
- Subtle hello: Hey, what’s your name?
Hmmm…is this saying that when a girl asks us if we’ve met before we can still qualify that as her signalling her interest in dating us?!? Cause we get those questions like all the time. Right before questions like: Then why are you talking to me? And: Why do you keep looking at me with those creepy eyes?
Um, no. Psyblog cites another study by “researchers in Germany” that found that “women, being polite, are always sending positive nonverbal signals” to men regardless of whether they actually want to get with them. Women think that they’re sending all kinds of sexy vibes that men should recognize, but we’re just too stupid to get it. In reality, the German study shows that women still smile and act cute regardless of whether they want to slob on your knob, but they don’t go so far as giving verbal cues of their intentions.
The study in Personality and Individual Differences found that men clearly prefer direct pick-up lines to the random confusing things that women say in normal conversation. Unfortunately for us, women have been trained for centuries to suppress their sexual overtures and remain too embarrassed and insecure to be direct. Also, if they are upfront and sexy, we will call them whores.
It would, however, greatly improve our sex life if women would just man up and be clear with their intentions. They need not be slutbags and walk around like this:
But, we could use some clear cut indicators. So from now on, if you are a girl and you want to fuck us, please be direct. Otherwise you’ll end up going home alone feeling like this:
When you could/should be feeling like this:
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guys are the ones that take everything the wrong way…. If you smile….guys think”she wants me”.if you have a stright face ..guys think “she is a Bitch”..if they hit on you in the street and you decide to ignore them ” Mami why ju gotta be so stuck up”…. and if u decide to speak to them ” ohh she some hoochie i met walking down the street!”
Guys dont make it easy for women at all!
One thing I’ve noticed when I’m out is that guys will only approach me when I look most vulnerable - when I look bored (I’m not a good actress), or when I’m separated from my friends and ordering a drink or waiting in line for the bathroom. I know it makes it easier for people to approach you if they can find an “in,” but it makes me feel a little creeped out, like I’m being preyed on. The guys who do this have also, in my experience, been very, very bad at picking up body language and cues that I’m not interested and am being polite but cold so they can take the hint and not waste their time.
I agree with you, Nitro. This line in the story, “Also, if they are upfront and sexy, we will call them whores.” struck me as so true I laughed out loud. Notice this whole story is about getting sex. Not a relationship. Guys take aggressiveness from women as sluttiness, so women are damned if they do and damned if they don’t. in that regard, i think men are more at confined by outdated social mandates than women. because they are never going to find a woman who is emotionally fulfilling thinking that way.
Ok you are wrong nitro, you are being stereotypical, not every guy is that way. For example I’ve met my share of girls and women, and to be honest, girls react differently to different types of guys, Every situation depends on the scale of confidence that you have. I think, confidence makes a person.
And advice to guys out there don’t hit on girls on the street, it’s like the worst place to pick up a girl, and also a bar during happy hour. It’s like playing Russian roulette with yourself. - Ignacio .
ok let me correct myself!
*Most guys!