Perez Hilton Is Suing The Black Eyed Peas To Protect Your Rights, People

The grinch's heart grew three sizes that day. <3

Perez Hilton, né Mario Lavandeira, has decided to sue The Black Eyed Peas’ manager, Polo Molino, for battery and emotional distress to the tune of $25,000 following an altercation between the two and Pea member Will.i.am outside a Toronto club. 

Hilton’s lawyer, Bryan Freedman, released the following statement:

Perez Hilton was assaulted by the Band’s road manager because he would not agree to stop writing about the Black Eyed Peas on his website Perezhiton.com. Perez Hilton files this lawsuit to protect his freedom of speech and seeks legal redress against those who have physically assaulted him because they do not like his review of their album. Whether you love Perez or hate him, he is entitled to his freedom of speech without fear of physical violence. This lawsuit will make the statement that violence is never the answer. His First Amendment rights will be vigorously protected.

This is not the first time Perez has invoked his right to free speech in a lawsuit. In 2007, DJ Samantha Ronson sued Perez after he wrote a post accusing her of suppling the cocaine involved in Lindsay Lohan’s now-famous “those aren’t my pants” car accident. A Los Angeles judge dismissed the $20 million lawsuit and Hilton declared it a victory for free speech. 

Perez’s inclination towards claiming victimhood also factored into another lawsuit against him one year prior. In 2006, Brandy and François Navarre, co-owners of X17 Inc. sued Hilton not only because they had to repeatedly remind him he that he could not use their agency’s images without permission, but also because of his arrogant and aggressive attitude. Whined Hilton:

She is suing me because I’m arrogant? That’s not what her press release said. My position is that I don’t think what I am doing is illegal, and I am going to vigorously defend myself. I am willing to step up to the plate and fight for my rights and fight for the rights of all bloggers.

Oh, dude. Uh. Thanks… but no thanks. 

Should Perez ever stop masturbating over the Constitution long enough to read it, he might discover that freedom of speech goes beyond “saying whatever I want” and that, while many instances of hate speech are protected under the First Amendment, defamation is not. 

Perez is, truly, a martyr for no cause beyond his personal agenda and insatiable thirst for fame and publicity. He’s a poster boy for vapidity, if anything. We mean, seriously. You really want this:

…on a poster? Aren’t there any other Cuban gossip bloggers from Miami who should be enjoying money and myriad opportunities? Ahem.

Black Eyed Peas Manager Sued By Perez Hilton [Billboard]