Guanabee Commenter Shout-Out: So ElloQuent

It’s been a week of break-ups and shake-ups, like finding out that Selena possibly maybe made a sex tape or that men who hang racist signs on their rural Texas homes like to sword fight with their Latino military buddies. Luckily, we can take solace in knowing that, whatever happens, Levi Johnston will be sticking around. When we’re staring nuclear winter dead in the face and everything familiar to us is annihilated, there Levi will be, skittering under our bathroom sink.

So let’s celebrate him - his sexual prowess, his juicy curls, his foresight when planning one night stands with Wal-Mart cashiers named Lynnsey-Lynne - with this week’s commenter shout-out. Congrats, ElloDee. Finish up your 40 and meet us behind the Piggly Wiggly for your prize. 

Re: Levi Johnston Has Bodyguards Who Follow Him Into The Bathroom At Monkey Bar And You Do Not

It’s for those sloshed nights where he forgets to introduce himself to his future baby mama’s. So when he yells out, “What’s my name?” during the naughty times, there is a handy dandy cheat sheet on his arm! haha

One can only guess where Levi might have tattooed his name had it been different by just one letter.