Guanabee Guide: Getting To Know The Senators Grilling Sonia Sotomayor

Many of the Senators who have come down hardest on Sonia Sotomayor during her hearing have expressed dismay at what they perceive to be her activist, biased tendencies and beliefs. To the point that they have decided to–or at least are seriously considering–voting against her appointment. Some might vote for her, but first they have to make sure to talk down to her in a concerned tone of voice while shrugging. Which makes perfect sense, as one would not want an unjust Justice sitting on the Supreme Court. That would make her an Unjustice. So. You can’t have that. 

Of course, as a few of these men have interrogated Sotomayor in an attempt to catch her off guard or dig up unsavory tidbits from her past, they have neglected to consider their own… slip-ups. They’re like Pokémon, kind of, if Pokémon had names like “Sketchy” and powers like “Selective Memory” or “Arbitrary Adherence To One’s Own Professed Moral And Legal Convictions.”

So. Interested in learning a little more about the Senators who have been grilling Sonia Sotomayor during her hearing? Tough. You gotta catch ‘em all:
 
Jon Kyl

• In a statement released today, Senator Jon Kyl of Arizona said:

Unfortunately, I have not been persuaded that Judge Sotomayor is absolutely committed to setting aside her biases and impartially deciding cases based upon the rule of law. And I cannot ignore her unwillingness to answer senators’ questions straightforwardly. For these reasons, I oppose her nomination.

• Back in May of 2007, Kyl defended the Justice Department’s claim that a bill seeking to make changes to the Freedom of Information Act “could force them to reveal sensitive information,” and thus needed to be blocked. 
• Among the sensitive information the Justice Department may have been apprehensive about revealing was evidence of inappropriate and biased political maneuvering at work behind the hiring of some of the country’s most high-powered lawyers. 
• In February 2009 Kyl invited Dutch right wing parliamentarian Geert Wilders to show his anti-Islam film Fitna in the Capitol building. 
• He didn’t even offer popcorn.

Lindsey Graham

• Informed Sotomayor she had a “problem with temperament” and could, perhaps, use these hearings as a time for self-reflection.
• Espouses (heh) marital morality.
• Served as a member of the Judiciary Committee during Bill Clinton’s impeachment in 1998.
• Absolved Mark Sanford for his extramarital affair - and flight to Argentina on taxpayers’ dime - with Maria Belen Chapur. 
• Has said that conducting an ethics investigation into the affair of his colleague, Nevada Senator John Ensign, with an employee is not high among his priorities. Ensign’s parents are said to have awarded his lover - and her husband - $100,000 for their trouble.
• Curses in an atrocious manner when one refers to him as “Honey Graham.”

Tom Coburn

• Tom Coburn is the man responsible for alerting Sotomayor to the fact that she had some “splaining to do.”
• Speaking of Ensign, Coburn has stated that he cannot testify in an inquiry into his affair because he offered Ensign counsel as a physician. 
• Coburn is a gynecologist.
•  Coburn has claimed that the “gay agenda” is  the greatest threat to American freedom today.
• As NY Times Op-Ed writer Frank Rich points out, maybe Coburn could benefit from familiarizing himself with pop culture and historical references from both before and after I Love Lucy first aired:

Then again, Coburn was so unfamiliar with Jews he didn’t have a clear fix on what happened in the Holocaust until 1997, when he was 48. Party elders like Bill Bennett had to school him after he angrily berated NBC for subjecting children and “decent-minded individuals everywhere” to the violence, “full-frontal nudity and irresponsible sexual activity” of “Schindler’s List.”

• He didn’t cry once during Life is Beautiful.

Thad Cochran

• Thad Cochran says he plans on voting against Sotomayor because he finds himself questioning her “fidelity to equal justice.”
• However, back in 1998, Cochran felt confident enough about her fidelity to confirm her to a federal appeals court in New York.
• In 2005, Cochran was one of nine senators who voted against the Detainee Treatment Act of 2005, which sought to prohibit inhumane treatment of prisoners, including those housed at Guantanamo Bay. 
• Thad is Sarah Palin’s long-lost 6th child. 

They Got Some ’Splainin’ to Do [NY Times]