Things That Are Great: Gwyneth Paltrow Is Moving To Spain

Professional White Person™ Gwyneth Paltrow is planning to move to Spain. Gwyneth first traveled to Ethpaña as a gangly 15-year-old, curious about which Other she should make her very own. The actress was given a plot of land in Madrid by the family she lived during her stay as a teenager and is apparently also considering purchasing property along the Costa del Sol. 

She’s since returned to Spain with large ginger Mario Batali in tow so that the two could eat their through the country and make us all jealous. More recently, Gwyneth has decided to slap together a book on “Spanish-influenced” cooking. So… Latin American cuisine? Filipino? Spicy Doritos?

She has also waxed poetic about the Spanish and their highly superior way of life, which includes closing most major businesses and services from roughly 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. and insulting restaurant patrons who ask for a napkin. But the Spanish don’t really use BlackBerries much, so, hey. They’re awesome. Or involved in occupations that do not require or pay for the use of such technology. But then, how ever will they be able to log onto the new, Spanish version of GOOP that Gwyneth has just launched? ‘Twould be a shame for the Spanish to miss out on such gems as learning how to belittle people with merely a look or preparing macrobiotic filet of air topped with organic oxygen froth. 

Maybe we’re too hard on Gwyneth. She’s free, of course, to relate to whatever nation of culture she sees fit. And she is really good at speaking Spanish and seems genuinely interested in Spanish customs and cuisine. Plus, this means we’ll never again have to almost step on her in New York (true story!). 

Good for you, Gwyn.

Viva La Vida? It’s Viva Espana for Gwyneth Paltrow as she and Chris Martin head for Spain [Daily Mail]