Madonna’s Love Letters And Voice Messages Auctioned Off

Being famous is a weird thing, no? It inspires interest in things one does that are, truly, not all that interesting. A good example of this would be the recent auctioning off of love letters and voice messages left by Madonna. Now, this is a woman we’ve all seen naked, multiple times. We know all about what makes her feel virginal, what makes her feel erotic, and what makes her develop curious sweat stains in a purple leotard. Do we really need to listen in on her naughty voice mails? The answer, if a recent auction is any indication, is “yes.”

Love “faxes” and dirty voice mails intended for Jim Albright, one of her boyfriend in the early 90s, are included for sale in an online auction ending August 5th. The messages are expected to sell for about $40,000. 

Oddly enough, we’ve actually managed to get some letters and recording that Madonna has left for other lovers over time. Enjoy:

5/17/2009. Transcript of voice message left for I. Casares by M. Ciccone.

“Dude. Have you seen this about this Lindsay Loman or whatever chick? Can you believe this [expletive]? [Expletive], we were doing this [expletive] before this little [expletive] was even born! I was totally the Limsley Holan of the 90s! Why weren’t people as scandalized? I am scandalous! [EXPLETIVE] SCANDALOUS! I mean, like, Jesus [expletive] Christ. I [expletive] Sandra Bernhard! For nothing! Ugh. Oh, call me back when you find that dental dam you lost, lovie. I’m sure it’ll turn up soon. Kisses!”

2/21/09. Fax sent to A. Rodriguez by M. Ciccone.

A-

Look. I apologise for last night. My behaviour was uncalled for. You are not, nor have you ever been, “an engorged ladyman with the visage and mental capacity of a neanderthal.” I am also sorry for punching you in the face, chest and scrotum. I should have ignored your pleas to keep punching you, and to call you Sally. It was cruel of me to continue. So completely, utterly, deliciously cruel.

I hope you can forgive me and that you can also continue publicly denying our relationship. Because you’re kind of embarrassing.

Cheerio. Toot toot.

-M

Madonna’s love letters, erotic tapes in NY auction [Yahoo!]