Maria Belen Chapur’s Email Hacker Says, “You Don’t Know Who You’re Messing With.” Well, duh.

The mean person who hacked into Maria Belén Chapur’s Hotmail [Ed. So ninety's.] account and exposed to the world that she has been fucking South Carolina governor Mark Sanford for a year is said to have emailed the couple a nasty note. “You don’t know who you are messing with,” it said. Well, that’s not really news, is it, Mister or Ms. Email Hacker Person? Except that Chapur told the Argentinean press the other day that she does, in fact, think she knows who she’s messing with. She just needs to gather enough evidence. Here’s our list of guesses:

• South Carolina Lieutenant Governor Andre Bauer: Captain Obvioso. Why wouldn’t this guy be behind this? He gets to become governor and he likely has known about the affair from the beginning.

• Mrs. Sanford’s private detective: Jenny Sanford has been a little too put together throughout this whole ordeal and hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Especially one scorned for a much younger Argentinean.

• Dick Cheney: He’s never dying and he’s never going away and now he’s one step closer to the 2012 nomination.

• Hugo Chavez: The CIA aren’t the only ones who can stage an assassination.

• Maria Belén Chapur: A latin temptress always gets her man.

E-mail hacker allegedly threatened S.C. governor, mistress [Miami Herald]