Michael Jackson Appears In a Tree, Hee Hee

The recent death of Michael Jackson has led to an outpouring of grief from the entire planet, and as always at such time has also unleashed the dogs of lunacy. The religious canonization of Jackson has begun in earnest as he has now magically appeared in the knot of a tree to a family in Stockton, CA. Yes. A tree.

In the past the Virgin Mary and Jesus appeared in tortillas and Indian ponchos giving a tangeable sign of grace that  gives hope to the faithful. The Virgin of Guadalupe is the most famous of such apparitions and is visited by millions of people every year. In recent years Mary has appeared on tortillas, grilled cheese sandwiches, and wall stains.

But what happens in a post-religious world? Who will appear in our future tortillas?

Celebrities of course! The universal cult of the rich and famous which has largely replaced traditional religion in many parts of the world. In the past saints were people who had received a blessing from God that gave them miraculous properties. In our modern world Michael Jackson was given the divine gifts of fame and fortune that all of us desire, whether we admit it or not. In a world without miracles, owning your own roller coaster, having a pet chimp you dress like you, or being able to moonwalk is the miracle.

Jackson once appeared, (in corporeal form), to console the community after a school shooting rocked the town. This encounter with the King of Pop left a huge impact on the citizens of the town. One man said, “To Stockton, Michael Jackson meant more to us than Jesus, to some people. I think they’re both about even.” Wow.

It is easy to mock these statements, (very easy), but perhaps that is missing the point. If something gives people hope and affirms their faith, is it really wrong?

Wrong? No. Silly as fuck? Yes.