Shakira Wants To Be A Mom. Let’s Play “Predict Her Reinvention!”

Yesterday we mentioned how it seemed that Shakira had foregone her former, more unique image and style as a performer in order to become more consumer-friendly. In the process, she’s ended up resembling a lot of other pop stars, like Beyonce and Britney and Bret Michaels.

Now the singer says that she would like to have a baby with her long-time boyfriend, Antonio de la Rua.

Says Shakira, while walking a panther around a pool in a bikini:

I really want to be a mother, but now is not the time because I’m planning a new tour. But, after that, we’ll get to work on it.

Now, in light of her image change, we can’t help but wonder how motherhood will impact Shakira. There are, after all, a wealth of options for her to choose:

“The Do-Gooder:” Angelina Jolie

From the time Angelina decided to adopt a baby in Cambodia (she’s been shooting Tomb Raider there for some time), she changed her image from that of a vial of blood-wearing, knife-playing, sexually experimental wild child to loving mom with an interest in refugees’ rights… and creating her own rainbow brigade of children, despite whatever impact constant travel and a childhood spent scrutinized by the public might have. But it’s all good because now her babies have cool names. Yemsrach? Gross! Try something more African. Like Zahara.

Shakira could adopt one child from each continent and begin to dress all in earth tones because she is “serious now.” Oh, and about Antarctica. No orphans there yet, but we hear the penguins are adorable. You can name of “Rex” and another “Zephyr.”

“The Chameleon:” Madonna

When Madonna became pregnant with her first child, Lourdes, she was deep into playing Eva Perón and really in touch with her - or, you know, someone’s - Latin side. During her pregnancy with son Rocco with British director Guy Ritchie, Madonna cultivated a British accent and subsequently wrote a series of children’s books about little girls in England. 

Shakira could switch up her braying to a different accent depending on where her baby is born. 

“The Angelina-Lite: ” Nadya “Octomom” Suleman

This particular incarnation is ill-advised.

“The One We Love To Hate:” Kate Gosselin

Slap on a backwards mullet and practice emasculating your childish oaf of a husband in public, because being like Kate Gosselin of Jon & Kate Plus 8 will guarantee you lots of headlines and publicity. 

…Or, barring all of that, Shakira can just try to be herself and raise a happy kid we won’t be hearing too much about.

Shakira: “Tengo muchas ganas de ser madre” [Telecinco]