William Levy Gets Baptized. We Are That Much Closer To Marrying Him.

Cuban actor William Levy got baptized (and received First Communion and Confirmation) at a Catholic church in Puebla today as his ex and his  young son, Christopher, looked on. Telenovela actress Jacqueline Bracamontes was also there to lend her support as a bosom buddy. So to speak.

The news report on the events made a big deal over his ex allegedly pining over him and looking at him longingly or whatever but, you know. She’s just going to have to step off. Because now that W-Lev’s various intriguing sins have been washed away, we’re free to marry his ass. She might also have done well to turn some of that pining into parenting because her son was acting a little fool up in the church. Stop giving Jesus indigestion:

Cindy said baptism “wipes out anal sex in the getting-into-heaven scorebook.” Little does she know that anal sex doesn’t even count.

And, yes, William. We do except this cockring. Chortle.