Edinburgh Fringe Joke Contest Got Us Thinking… What Are The Best Latino Jokes?

London comedian Dan Antopolski won the Edinburgh Fringe joke contest over the weekend with the following one-liner: 

Hedgehogs. Why can’t they just share the hedge?

Groan. 

What’s even more sad is that some of the runners-up were actually much funnier. Judge for yourselves:

• 2) Paddy Lennox - “I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: ‘This could be interesting’.”

• 3) Sarah Millican - “I had my boobs measured and bought a new bra. Now I call them Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes because they’re up where they belong.”

• 4) Zoe Lyons - “I went on a girls’ night out recently. The invitation said ‘dress to kill’. I went as Rose West.”

• 5) Jack Whitehall - “I’m sure wherever my dad is; he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.”

• 6) Adam Hills - “Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You know you’re going to get it, but it’s going to be rough.”

• 7) Marcus Brigstocke - “To the people who’ve got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn’t invent it!”

• 8) Rhod Gilbert - “A spa hotel? It’s like a normal hotel, only in reception there’s a picture of a pebble.”

• 9) Dan Antopolski - “I’ve been reading the news about there being a civil war in Madagascar. Well, I’ve seen it six times and there isn’t.” [Ed. note: Why does this fool get to present two terrible jokes in one contest?]

• 10) Simon Brodkin (as Lee Nelson) - “I started so many fights at my school - I had that attention-deficit disorder. So I didn’t finish a lot of them.”

Surely we Latinos can - and have - come up with better jokes than these. We’re know for being jokey and mellow and spicy and telling jokes as we sit on couches in our front yards. Right? We have, for example, the delights that are “Pepito” jokes, a type of (usually) dirty  joke to which we first became privy when our mother used to take us with her to get heir nails done. Those viejitas were so nasty. Here’s an example of a relatively tame joke of the Pepito variety:

El papá de Pepito decide irse a vivir a los Estados Unidos con toda la familia y Pepito ingresa a una escuela.
La maestra pregunta a Paolo:
A ver Paolo, deme un ejemplo de la palabra “evidentemente”.
Bueno maestra, mi papá, mi mamá, mis hermanos, y yo, fuimos a comer a un restaurant, evidentemente que mi mamá no cocinó ese día.
Muy bien Paolo, a ver Juanito deme un ejemplo de la palabra “evidentemente”.
Mi papá, mi mamá, mis hermanos, y yo, nos fuimos a la playa, evidentemente que la casa quedó sola.
Muy bien Juanito.
A ver Pepito, deme un ejemplo de la palabra “evidentemente”.
Bueno maestra, yo estaba sentado en el corredor de mi casa, y vi pasar a mi abuelita con el diario New York Times Paper, y dije: Evidentemente va a cagar, porque no sabe leer inglés.

Tell us: What is the best joke you’ve ever heard told by Latinos? We’re going to see if we can make this into a little contest of sorts. And, because we’re a humorless sort of coconut who finds certain things to be very complicated and problematic, we’ll let you know that if your joke is hateful, it’ll be deleted. That takes away a great bulk of the Pepito jokes, we know, but try and be creative. 

So. What’s your favorite Latino joke? (And, no, “Carlos Mencia” does not count as an answer.)

Hedgehog joke wins comedy prize [BBC]