Jenni Rivera Versus Niurka: Who Ya Got?
3 August 2009, 4:51 PM. By Alex Alvarez
Jenni Rivera, singer and sometime porn star, has laid down some fightin’ words about Niurka Marcos, porn star and sometime singer. In an interview with radio personality Eddie “Piolín” Sotelo, Jenni said that scandals do not sell albums, because if they did, Niurka would be a best-seller.
So, then…
Why are you trying to create a scandal? Someone is late to her MENSA meeting.
Niurka, ever the lady, responded to Jenni’s comments thusly:
Oh, the whale wants to start things up?
Well, damn. So that’s how it’s going to be. We had no idea these women were even in competition with one another. The only thing the two have in common is an intense dislike of keeping their breasticles clothed. Why can’t these two just get along and create a duet performed wearing matching rhinestone catsuits? That is what the world needs more of, not women fighting.
But. Since they’re bent on fighting with one another anyway, why not take bets on who will come out of this the winningest loser? Here’s how these two stack up:
Jenni
- Is, apparently, a whale. If she’s a killer whale, then she can bite Niurka with her scary little teeth. But maybe she’s a sperm whale? Which aren’t really all that scary in combat.
- She often wears cowgirl hats. So maybe she has the skills required to wrangle Niurka and hog-tie her.
- Jenni has large boobs. This is good because they can act like giant boxing gloves. But are bad because they can hit you in the face and cause bruising if you run too quickly towards your prey.
Niurka
- Can stab you in the liver with her giant nails.
- She can use her elaborate outfits to tangle you up in some long, diaphanous sleeve or tickle you to death with a feathered merkin.
- Niurka’s tackiness has been known to blind, maim and even kill others.
Who will win?!
Niurka Marcos Responds to Jenni Rivera [Latin Gossip]
(10) 
Post Your Comment
Did you know you can now share a link, image or video?
Click to submit your own notas.
Isn’t Jenni from Long Beach? She’s got my vote. She just needs to summon her inner chola and whoop that ass. Or at least scratch it to death.
Yea I’ll take Jenni, and if she is from LB she will def kick that skanks ass. What they should do is Tape it and make a pay per view out of it. That way they both get paid
i’ve got my money on Niurka, cuz she is one crazy bitch.
Niurka…unless Jenni’s brothers show up…either way the real winners are the children
If Niurka can survive communist Cuba, she can totally get one over an old chola. No contest.
Yeah… Niurka. She’s already slapping people around on national tv so…
Niurka, she won’t even care if you breaks a nail.
jajaja…if i had to put money on one of them it wuld be the homequrl Jenni. Niurka iz some krazi bitch but im sure the homequrl Jenni haz thiz one in the baq.
im real sure about it..you know qota keep the love with my raza..
.:bAbi TRizTE:.
Both are trash so I really don’t care between either one of them. However Nuirka has a nicer body and good looks. All Jenni has going for her is her fat ass, big boobs and the shape of a “whale”. Jenni is always associated with scandal and none of it is good. Both are losers.