People En Español’s 25 Most Guapos Don’t Stand A Chance Next To Our 25

People en Español, in their grand tradition of list-making, has come out with their annual “25 Mas Guapos” issue. And, surprise! It’s full of really hot rocket scientists and at least one super sexy fat dude.

No, of course not.

As boring and predictable as these lists may be, there are at least two wee little controversies about this year’s.

Check it out:

1. Aarón Díaz 
2. Alberto Cutié 
3. Alex Rodríguez 
4. Carlos Bocanegra 
5. Cuauhtemoc Blanco 
6. David Bisbal 
7. Espinoza Paz 
8. Eugenio Siller 
9. Fernando Colunga 
10. Flex 
11. Gael García Bernal 
12. Javier Bardem 
13. Jencarlos Canela 
14. Juanes 
15. Marcos Antonio Solís 
16. Miguel Varoni 
17. Néstor Carbonell 
18. Pedro Fernández 
19. Pedro Moreno 
20. Poncho Herrero 
21. René Pérez Joglar 
22. Tommy Torres 
23. Valentino Lanús 
24. William Levy 
25. Wisin 

They included Gael, but not Diego? Wisin, but not Yandel? Damn. That’s stone cold. Anyway, these guys are cute and all, but we think we can come up with a better list. 

1. Eduardo Rodriguez - Because he’s actually gotten pretty hot since he was was first chosen as People en Español’s “El Hombre Mas Sexy.”  

2. Mexican Bumblebee Transformer Guy - Because we’re pretty sure he vibrates.

3. Oscar Casares - Because we love a good helping of nepotism. 

4. Eddie Cibrian’s Ego - Because we hear it’s h u g e. 

5. Paul Saucido - Because the people have spoken. 

6. Charles Perez - Because we’re afraid he’d take legal action if we didn’t. 

7. Javier Ceriani - Because he puts his money where his mouth is. 

8. Chefrain - Because he knows when to get his hands dirty. 

9. Danny Trejo - Because his hair can cure chlamydia.

10. Valentino & Matteo Martin - Because we want to eat their little bitty toes. 

11. Dr. Mauser - Because, if he weren’t our publisher’s dad, we could come up with sexy medical puns. 

12. Yanixan - Because he’s a hands-on kind of dude.  

13. Juan Rivera - Because he knows when to stand up for what’s right. And also for Jenni.

14. The Wandering Pig of Panama City - Because he loves to pork.

15. Edgar Hernandez - Because he’s a resilient lil’ guy. 

16. Silvio Berlusconi - Because he’s comfortable with his body. And those of others. 

17. Manuel Uribe - Because there’s a lot to love. 

18. Javier Montero - Because we can save a horse by… You know how it goes.

19. Hugo Chavez - Because it’d be illegal not to include him.

20. Luchador on the Street - Because he is a man of mystery.

21. Jack Tomas - Because he’s responsible for this. 

22. Chris Alonzo - Because he can stand up to the fuzz. 

23. Alejandro Paz - Because, in his endless altruism, he’s volunteered himself to make sure your labia isn’t droopy. 

24. Marcelo Cunning - Because he’s a fan of nacocorridos. 

25. Daniel Mauser - Because the camera loves him. And he’s responsible for our livelihood. 

We’re feeling pretty confident about our choices. But for those of you who want to see those… other guys… click below to start our gallery.

People En Español’s 25 Most Handsome

Los 25 hombres más guapos [People en Español]