Help Us Name William Levy’s Sex Tape

Rumor-we-hadn’t-heard maintained that William Levy - actor, Catholic, and penis model - had a sex tape going around. Try as we might, we weren’t able to find any such video that wasn’t, in fact, a virus that made our computer fart and complain of a hangover. Which is all the same to us because Levy denies that he appears in this alleged tape, but offers hope:

I haven’t seen it, but it isn’t me. I am sure it isn’t me because I haven’t done that. If I do it because I like to videotape myself making love to someone, so be it, I would have no problem with it. The issue here is that people make stuff up.

His lack of problems appeals to us greatly. We can only hope that, when his inevitable and long-awaited sex tape does finally come out, it has a name deserving of its status in the great pantheon of sex tapery. 

Help us pick out a name, won’t you?

• Went Down on the Levy, but the Levy was Dry

Set in the American South, Went Down… tells the story of two star-crossed lovers who can tell you exactly when the music died because they totally fucking banged it to death, bro.

• Big Willy Style

What happens when a small-town boy moves to the big city in search of stardom and fame? Will he become a star… or become sucked into performing a series of degrading sex acts on casting couches across Van Nuys? (Hint: The latter.)

• Cuidado Con el Angel… ‘Cuz He’s Totally About to Blow a Load on Your Face

What, you thought angels never got it on? There’s a reason people scream “Oh God” during sex.

• Cojimar y Coje Mas: The William Levy Story

A young boy from Cojimar, Cuba grows up to be a really good-looking guy with a sex tape. 

Any other suggestions?

William Levy Talks Sex Tape [Latin Gossip]