Butt Jean Ads Make Spanish-Language Tabloids Awesome, Cushiony

One thing we love about Spanish-language tabloids (other than their tendency to feature half-nude centerfolds wearing little more than palm fronds or cowboy hats) is their ads. Not only do they let us now about a wide range of helpful and exciting products all entirely aimed at making our waists tiny and our boobs humongous, but they also alert us to the existence of jeans that will lift and separate our ass cheeks so we can look just like J-Lo...'s crackhead cousin! This ad, which appears in the latest issue of TVyNovelas, offers a simply sensational deal on Brazilian-style jeans designed to enhance your butt. Buy one pair and get a second for 50% off!  So, how do these jeans work? By turning your backside into a grid that grows arrows! It is science. And, judging from the nice lady who appears in the ad holding a microphone, it is also newsworthy.  See? We suppose the jeans work by taking the fat from all the way down in your cankles and pushing them up towards your ass.  One thing we're pretty sure of: You would never see ads like this in gringo tabloids.