Modern Family Recap: Modern Family Sucks. So There.
30 September 2009, 10:21 PM. By Alex Alvarez
Oh Jesus fucking Christ. We mean. Ugh, come on. Maybe we’ve had more than a few screwdrivers at this point, but. UGH! THIS SHOW IS TERRIBLE.
Let’s break down exactly what was loathsome about this, the second episode of Modern Family:
- Sofia Vergara’s character declaring that physical labor is a cultural touchstone of her culture. Which could be funny if executed properly. Don’t get us wrong: Sofia is charming here. The fetid shitstorm that is this series is totally the fault of the writers.
- Her son’s character announcing that his deadbeat biological father, JAVIER THE LATINO, can drink the amount he does because he was struck by lighting.
- Al Bundy (we’re not going to learn his real name or his character’s name) saying that all that Superman and JAVIER THE LATINO have in common is that both entered this planet/country illegally. We only laughed at that for five seconds.
- Ok, this was actually POTENTIALLY funny: At one point, Sofia’s character pokes fun at Latino comedy shows, saying the men wear dresses and that it’s really a commentary on society. Or something.
- We mean… did you notice JAVIER THE LATINO is a deadbeat dad who forgets to take his womb spawn to DisneyLand?
- We hate this show.
- Did we mention we hate this?
- Why did Arrested Development get cancelled?
- Seriously.
- FUCK.
(13) 
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High-larious.
Best. review. ever.
have a couple of more drinks.
I am paying for it this morning, believe me. Don’t drink and blog.
I watched this shit storm last night. And all I can say is that I really miss Arrested Development.
Good to know I’m not missing anything.
And my ass still chapped over the cancellation of Arrested Development.
Dude… come on… When Al Bundy calls that Lion King baby a pot-sticker… that shit was funny.
Personally, as a heterosexual male with a thing for hot chicks, I don’t see how any television program staring Sofia Vergara can be all that bad. But then again I haven’t seen it, so maybe she looks bad or the show really does suck. I don’t know.
I’d suggest watching it on mute, then. Maybe see if the action syncs up with Pink Floyd. Or Menudo.
The show is like Costco it’s big and it dares you not to like it.
I’m a cool dad- I know all the text lingo: lol- laugh out loud, brb- be right back, wtf- why the face
Modern family is entertaining- give it a chance
episode four was fuckin bad ass. I think this was a review for Glee.
You are crazy, have an awful sense of humor, or are just too stupid to get it - Modern Family is the best sitcom I’ve seen in ages…for me it’s right behind 30 Rock.
You’re right, Guest. You are so wise. And humorous! And sane.
You’re just made at the Latino jokes. This sitcom is hilarious c’mon or when the gay guy walks out with the baby as the lion king and the other one tells him to turn it off and he replies I can’t its who I am. I died. Or when the sister’s husband asks what they named the baby and the responded “Lily” and his response goes won’t she have a hard time pronouncing that. I died, again.