A Day In The Life Of Niurka Marcos

Niurka Marcos, in all her infinite, charitable glory, saw it fit to share with us you plebes what the day-to-day existence of a goddess looks like. And while, sure, she works out and eats right and makes sure to develop melanoma for several hours a day, we know she only does these things so that others won’t be feel too disheartened by the knowledge that she doesn’t require any of these to be beautiful. Try not to be jealous as Niurka herself takes you on a tour of her quotidian schedule:

Hello, loverbabies. Here I am working out, dressed as my favorite appendage. Haha, I joke with you! My favorite appendage is my head. Now, you might think it is vain to work out surrounded by posters of oneself. But these are not posters, snickerpoodles. These are tiny clones of myself which I keep on wall-mounted shadow boxes. They like to keep me company as I exercise. At night, I sing to them songs of love.

Hush, puppykittens. My boobies are having a very important phone meeting. Haha, again, I joke with you! They can no longer talk.

I am having sex with the sun!

My finger is having sex with my eye! I am joking! That would be very naughty. I will share with you that I go through eight bottles of hair remover every day because my back is like a wookie. It’s crazy!

Sometimes, monkeypuddings, I wish I could breastfeed the whole world. It is a thing I think about a lot.

Un día con Niurka Marcos [People en Español]