Pregnancy And Baby Photos: The Great Cultural Unifier
2 October 2009, 4:12 PM. By Alex Alvarez
We’ve visited more than one nice Cuban home (you know they are nice because they have a cabinet full of Lladró and DisneyWorld figurines and the couch is covered in plastic) and have noticed that, in many of these fine households, people have pictures of their naked pregnant bellies and baby wieners tastefully (dis)splayed in the living room. It is delightful, as is there is nothing so beautiful as being able to share in the celebration of a relative or friend having been injected with sperm so that a parasitic life form is growing deep within them, distending their bellies and giving them varicose veins.
We will admit that, initially, we attributed an affinity to commissioning and displaying these sort of photos to people with White Problems™. But we’ve come to discover that the desire to terrify charm one’s loved ones knows no racial, ethnic, or socio-economic boundaries. It is the great uniter, this trend towards believing that you are either the first or most special person to have undergone basic or common human functions or milestones, like being in a relationship or getting pregnant.
A friend recently alerted us to the existence of Newborn Photo Art, a South Miami-based studio that focuses on taking pictures of newborns and pregnant women. We won’t feature any of their work here, because their site is all about copyrights and authorization and the like. But you can check them out over here, if you’re interested. Their site contains lovely slideshows set to soothing guitar music. We became just a little bit pregnant while looking at them.
Perhaps one of you who may have commissioned such photographs can school us as to why, exactly, you decided to do so. We mean. Sometimes we get it, you know? As is the case with this photo:
And for those of you who feel queasy about these sort of photographs, well. Perhaps you can help us pinpoint and articulate why they creep us out so damn much. We know it’s partially because so many of them sexualize motherhood in a way we find kind of obnoxious, with lots of focus on growing breasts (Which, sure, aren’t always sexual, but do tend to be when you cup them while smirking knowingly them at the camera.) and other curves. Here we have women who wouldn’t usually think to pose for a photograph in a shirt open to their navels doing so while their child is growing within them because… why? It also seems like a forced sharing of what we’ve always thought of as a personal relationship between mother and child. It’s just sort of foreign to us, despite the growing number of Latinos (in Miami at least!) who seem to be hopping on the Womb Troll Photo bandwagon.
So, yes. Grab your womb goblin, slap on a pair of fairy wings and weigh in.
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You sound bitter and jealous. Man troubles?
I’ve never met any real life human being that has done this. I always think of it as something crazy internet people do, like film themselves being fucked by horses and take tons of pictures of their obese cats.
well lets see I’m not very motherly and kids have never been in my plans for the future but I dont see the problem here? OBVIOUSLY if they take the pictures and put them in their living room its because they want to share it with familiy, friends and judgmental visitors like you. I agree that some have a better taste than others and some should just keep the pictures locked away in the attic but its this comment that really bothered me, “a parasitic life form is growing deep within them, distending their bellies and giving them varicose veins” … I really hope the day you get pregnant you remember you words…
She’d have to find a willing sperm donor first. But don’t hold your breath.
I’m not exactly sure why you seem to be trying to instigate some sort of argument with me or fabricate beef between us (with the Cuba comment, and now this), but I am extremely not interested in feuding with commenters. I mean, by all means, continue writing comments on whatever you want, I’m just letting you know that if it’s a fight you want, it’s really unlikely to happen.
Just taking the piss. I mean to say, it’s Friday for crying out loud. And the Cuba thing wasn’t meant to be taken personally against you; I really had no idea you had some sort of connection there; we are mere strangers to one another, after all.
Wait. Did you say you’re not interested in not feuding?
Perhaps, yes, the day I get pregnant I will eat my words. And my young.
My comment was highly sarcastic. I think babies can be really great. Especially when paired with a bold, full-bodied red wine.
dont forget the truffles.
HAHA
I love you Alex.
wow that was HILARIOUS! … and there you have my highly sarcastic comment of the day :)
I wish I had your wit and charm. To paraphrase you,”womb gobblin,parasitic life form”, I just spit Gatorade all over my monitor and my boss is looking at me funny.To those of you that do not get it, it’s called a sense of humor, you should get one. They come in handy, idiotas
So very true.
um…I think he was referring to you…but nice try
Yes, I know he wishes he had my wit and charm, and looks.
I think I’d be embarrased if my parents owned pictures like that while my mom was prego back in the day.
i work in a portrait studio, we get a lot of requests of the baby tummy pictures, we do the dad kissing the tummy, the mom looking at her tummy, the heart hands over the tummy etc. etc. I think they just want something to put in a scrapbook for the future and by gum do we sell it to them for a profit :D :D :D I need a new car so I can’t hate.
I don’t like children.
The feeling is mutual.
I’d like to have a kid or two. Pregnancy creeps me out though. I’m hoping that when one finds this mythical thing they call “love,” one is able to overlook the grossness.
You know what’s creepy about that website. All the babies look DEAD.
“Look how adorable you were when you went flatline. Que Cute.”
I feel like it’s an attempt to recreate what a pregnant Demi Moore did for that Vanity Fair cover back in the day.
But the photos on that website don’t come very close. No, not at all.