Guanabee Guide: How To Latinofy Your Hallogüeen
23 October 2009, 2:48 PM. By Alex Alvarez
Halloween and Latino culture go together like Coca-Cola and croquetas - thanks to the influences of death and disease, colonialism and Catholicism, a lot of Latinos have grown up amid traditions and tales relating to death, the supernatural and all things macabre. So why not try and inject a lil’ bit of that into your upcoming Halloween celebrations?
Luckily, we have a handy how-to guide to help you do just that.
1. Don’t Be Afraid To Be Scary
While everyone else thinks it’s amusing to wrap themselves in a serape and sombrero, dab a little chocolate syrup on their upper lips and go as a Dirty Sanchez, we know that truly frightening and disturbing Halloween costumes require little more than dressing in a suit and tie and a bulldog mask while screaming about Latinoids:
You can't unsee this picture. And you're gonna die in 7 days. Sorry.
2. Look To Your Roots For Inspiration
What, after all, is more frightening than the myth of La Llorona?
…or the chupacabra?
…or zombies!
3. Like We Need Another Excuse To Develop Diabetes? Caramelo O’Clock!
We may be biased, but we think Latinos have some of the best sweets in all the world. Here a few you might want to consider adding to your Halloween stash this year:
- Pica fresas: Sweet, spicy and delectably chewy, these are hands down one of our favorite confections. The only way to make a strawberry-flavored gummy candy more delicious is to roll it around in a mix of sugar and chile powder.
- Bubulubus: Our Exican once gifted us with so many boxes of these after one of his trips to Mexico, then we became sick of them and, thus, can never eat them again. But if chocolate-covered marshmallows with fruity jam appeal to you, knock yourself out. Halloween bonus: These resemble turd logs more than a little.
- Pirulis: These Latin American, rainbow-colored lollipops resemble little rocket ships and reminds us going to Cuban bakeries with our mom.
- Alfajores: These vary in their presentation from country to country, but the premise is always the same: Take two biscuits or wafers, and nestle some rich, thick, creamy dulce de leche in between. Leave them plain, dip them in chocolate or vanilla cream, or dust them in powdered sugar. Then devour.
4. Tap Into Your Inner Fears
We don’t know about you lot, but there are certain Latin American traditions that have always managed to freak us out. For example:
- Piñatas. Whacking a poor defenseless donkey (or horse or dog or horribly disfigured dollar store version of Rainbow Brite) with a stick so that you can have your eyes nearly gouged out by a pack of screaming, ravenous kindergarteners? Yes, sounds like a nightmare to us.
- Mariachis. Are scary. Sorry.
- Introducing your parents to non-Latino boyfriends. Aaaaaahhhh!!!
Any other suggestions, peeps?
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This is hilarious! Especially the last part about introducing your non-Latino boyfriend. My cousin was afraid of introducing her black boyfriend to ANYONE in the familia. I won’t even tell you what my abuelita said.
How else to Latinofy Your Hallogüeen? Maybe walk into a corporate party dress SUPER NICE and when they ask what you are say, “I’m a professional Latino, I’m sure you’ve heard of us.”
Or maybe that was too much? haha
Haha! Great suggestion. I think CNN would find it appropriately frightening.
not all mariachis are scary. I met two HOT ones around my age when i was in Mexico early this year.
How about El Cucuy… I’m sure most latinos er mexis have their own crazy depiction of what he looks like.. I know I do.
el cucuy de la manana?
his website is the scariest thing birthed this side of the internet: http://www.cucuy.com/
my seester is going as a luchadora!
must be an ugly biatch!
I am trying to decide which of last night’s Latino In America characters I’ll dress up as. Maybe Erica Sparks, with bronzy highlights and an 187 tattooed on my torso. Or blonde fake-chola lady mayor. But my top two choices are “Fruit Peeker” or “Messican”. Apparently, they look just like me.
How about going as a big nacho?
Proper latino-fication of Halloween is wearing an incomplete costume. Mask-only, cape but no super-suit, clown make-up paired with everyday clothes…or my personal fave…wear your little league uniform.
I am still trying to put together my Walter Mercado costume. I did manage to borrow every piece of costume jewelry from my family. But I can’t master those there-but-almost-invisible eyebrows.