Hugo Chavez Will Manipulate Clouds To Make Rain, So Please Stick To Three Minute Showers, Ok?

Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez, smartest man in the world, has proposed a thoughtful new measure for conserving water. 

Venezuela, you see, has recently been plagued by a string of power shortages. The country is struggling to provide adequate electricity and water to its people as it contends with underinvestment and a drop in water levels in the hydroelectric dams that provide the nation with much of its energy.

In a televised appearance, Chavez blamed the low water levels on El Niño and the selfishness of the Venezuelan people, denouncing people’s propensity for singing in the shower, perhaps whilst holding a shampoo bottle like a microphone. 

Said Chavez:

Some people sing in the shower, in the shower half an hour. No kids, three minutes is more than enough. I’ve counted, three minutes, and I don’t stink.

If you are going to lie back, in the bath, with the soap and you turn on the what’s it called, the Jacuzzi … imagine that, what kind of communism is that? We’re not in times of Jacuzzi.

Chavez also proposed sending government planes into the sky to manipulate clouds into producing rainfall.

Yes. He did.

Then, as everyone was applauding and congratulating him on this smartosity, he quietly slipped away, turned on the Jacuzzi, procured a bar of soap, held it to his lips and began to mouth, earnestly: “So hard with my girls not around me / It’s definitely not a Nashville party / ‘Cause all I see are stilettos / Guess I didn’t get the memo…“

And then the Britney song was on, Hugo. And then the Britney song was on.

Three-minute showers to conserve water? [Yahoo]