Laaaadies! Jeff Archuleta Is Single Again

Jeff Archuleta, father of wee singer David Archuleta, is usually accustomed to endings of a happy sort, but, alas, his marriage to wife Lupe Marie has ended in divorce. This may or may not have had something to do with his having paid a woman to touch him. 

This marks the second time the couple have split, the first time being in 2002. The couple decided to put their divorce proceeding aside, however, as their son David began gaining acclaim as a singer. 

Jeff and Lupe have five children and Jeff has asked that Lupe pay him $349 a month in child support. They have decided to sell their house in Murray, Utah and split the resulting profit between them. 

We’ve taken the liberty of drawing up a personals ad for Jeff, since he’s now a swingin’ single:

SWM Looking For NSA Fun In Your Salt Lake (Vagina) lol 

hello ladies. i am a newly single father of $349. lol jk. i have 5 kids. perhaps u have heard of one of them his name is david? he is famous. lol yeah we r living the life. rawk on!!! lol.

ne way. i have many interests n lead a pretty active lifestyle so u would have to b able to keep up with me! i am a vry vry affectionate guy i like to be touched so sue me. lol. (don’t.) my kids r very important to me. they remind me often of the humbling story of the profitable son. it is in the bible. if you or anyone ever tries to mess with my kids’ success i will totally go off AND EAT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING FACE.

lol.

i like women of all races and bckgrounds, but the last woman i was with was latina. 

maybe we can hang out sometime and, i dunno. get his and her massages? xo.

Really. Who could resist?

David Archuleta’s Parents File For Divorce [PopEater]