Latino Baby Names Are For Mojados
6 October 2009, 4:49 PM. By Cindy Casares
You better think long and hard before giving your baby a throwback, Spanish name to show how brown and proud you are because your kid might just grow up to hate you for it. According to Time, traditional Spanish names are so thirty years ago now that more Latinos in this country are second and third generation Americans. “More than half (52%) are second generation — born in the U.S. to at least one foreign-born parent; and 37% were born in America to American-born parents.” This means that by 2025, close to 30% of all American kids will have some Latino ancestry and if your kid is Panfilo while everyone else is Darryl, you’re going to have problems. You see, according to the Social Security Administration, American ethnic groups tend to follow an assimilation trend when it comes to naming their kids. Immigrants give their kids traditional names from the homeland: Juan, Guillermo, Panfilo. Second and third generation Americans, tend to hold on to the spirit of a traditional name, but with a more English-friendly twist like John, William, uh…Panfilo. And by the time the great-grandkids are bonafide coconuts, their parents don’t even bother to pretend they’re Latin anymore. Hence you’ve got your Cindys and your Bills.
But if you’re so assimilated and educated that you succumb to the yuppie bobo trend of giving your kid a throwback name, you know, ironically, you might end up with an Abejundio at exactly the wrong time in history. Your kid might never get laid, in which case, they’ll have to take matters into their own hands. Just like Memo did in our favorite scene from Mi Familia.
Interestingly, Guillermina (la pobre) Jasso, a sociology professor at New York University and a second-generation Hispanic American, tells Time that girl names tend to survive the Americanization better than boy names because the English language also puts an -a on the end of names to femininize them, but finds the masculine -o to be rather bohunk. This, she postulates, could mean that girls have an easier time assimilating than boys. And all this time we thought it was our breastesies helping us out.
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Don’t cry Hipolito….you can always go by Hippo!
As someone who is generation 1.5, this strikes too close to home. Still, I can’t help but to think that when i have little chavalos of my own, ill give them a mexican ass name so they dont forget their heritage. I’m thinking of something like Tizoc or Xochimilco.
Filomenio and Amparo (for a girl) are the strangest i’ve heard but as someone with a funky name I probably would still like to give my kid a latino one…mixed with a name that encompasses my love of Jane Austen novels or something…im gonna end up with a Cayetano Fitzwilliam or an Elizabeth Yolyamanitzin…:P
You know, as someone who has several Joses and Juans in my immediate family, I propose that Latinoids start on the non-Spanish/made-up name bandwagon pronto. Shit starts to get confusing. Just go to any predominantly Hispanic area and yell “Jose!” and see how many people turn around. Disturbing.
The boyfriend’s family solved this when there were 2 Joses born in the same year. One goes by Joe David or Joey (depending on the tio/tia and grandparent preferences) and the other goes by Joe Rudy.
good piece. but what i want to know is why there’s always that annoying fog in all the latino living rooms in greg nava movies.
It’s the smoke from the incense burning on the altar every Latino has in the corner of their sala.
my brother tried to name my nephew Cuauhtemoc… they ended up naming him Matias and his middle name is Alvaro which is my bro’s name.
I’m so glad I’m not a Maria or a Guadalupe.
my ama is both!!
haha. My ama is Maria Guadalupe too!
pshhh…I still say my breasts helped me assimilate. But still, a true trend. My family has gone from the Rodolfos and Javiers to Masons and Amandas within a generation. Crazy.
My mom probably didn’t get the memo, she gave us the gringoest names there were at the time in the 80’s. Jess (Me) and Steve (my brother) and we were both born in Latin America. Then again, her name is Russian.
The same thing happened in my family. The generation following is all American names: Brenda, Jessica… etc. I think there was a BIG push for assimilation in the early 80s.
Damn you! You had to bring up Mi Familia,didn’t you? Now i’m sitting here at work hungover and 30 minutes late after staying up all night watching that movie on youtube. Also, Memo, huh, what a fucking sellout, eh? I’m all for assimilation (I truly am), but turning your back and being ashamed of your folks? Man, that’s some cold ass gangsta shit. One more thing, did Esau Morales corner the market and monopolize the “I’m a troubled but good looking and proud hispanic man who is fated to have a shit life’? I mean, first La bamba, and now this?
I thought Jimmy Smits put in a very compelling, “I’m troubled but good looking because I saw my brother get shot when I was nine. Help me learn to love.” He should explore that some more. None of this LA Law bullshit.
Good thing Juan Luis Guerra showed up just in time with Bachata Rosa to teach him to love. Hey…he should be at Obama latino night!
For real. That was some sexy inter-latino banging. He needs to go back to those roles. Fuck that ‘I’m an important player at the DA’S office and am a pillar for the Cuban community’ in Dexter. Him and Benjamin Bratt (Blood in Blood Out, anyone?) need to start playing the ‘Orale Vato’ roles again Also, man, that little kid was a brat. Jimmy Smits buys the kid a millenium falcon and he throws that shit against the wall? WTF. My inner geek nearly flipped his shit.
my parents told me that they considered naming me Josefa or Bernarda. me mato!! glad they thought twice about those.
My parents said that they only chose names that my Spanish-speaking abuelita could pronounce. My real name is more common amongst White, old ladies. It was hella popular in 1890, but not so much anymore. But since my abuelita could say it, that was the winner.
Its not that bad.
Damn, I am Caucasian and my parents named me Emmanuel cuz I was born on Christmas.
I got even with them though, I married a beautiful Latina that I love very much and gave them half Latino grand kids and I gave them my parents names!
I’ve met at least 7 Xochitl’s, a handful of Quetzal’s, one or two Tonatiuh’s, and I know there is a Floricanto in there somewhere.
A grip of my girl cousins have that rhyming thing going on - where all the names end in “-issa” sounds. My sister and I are included in that as well.
let’s see if you all 1.5 and 2 latino mixed generation kiddies know anyone with the mexicanest name of them all, masiosare, try to americanize that caca
Integration is a better word for Latinos ‘integrating’ into American culture, more than ‘assimilation,’ which has a negative connotation. Assimilation, gives the impression that we strip ourselves of our roots, and attempt to Americanize ourselves completely, which Anglo people attempted to do so quite openly several decades and centuries ago.
That was the intention with the use of the word.