Leave It To Lamas Ep. 3: Michelle Remains The Only Reason To Watch This Show, Or To Live

There is no other explanation for E!’s new show Leave It To Lamas featuring the family of Lorenzo Lamas, than that the network is attempting to create for you, the viewer, the experience of incest through the television. Why else would they subject us, week after week, to Michelle Smith Lamas, the ex, second wife of Lorenzo and mother of Shayne, A.J. and Dakota? The woman who cannot go a day without bringing up her breasts and her son in the same sentence? And, sadly, that’s the ONLY interesting thing going on in this series.

As you may recall, A.J. slept with Lorenzo’s fourth wife Shauna, who is, physically, just a younger version of Michelle. In the first episode of Leave it Lamas, Michelle broke into A.J.’s apartment, (that she and Lorenzo probably pay for), and stripped her top off to stand in front of the refrigerator, allegedly because she’s having hot flashes. In the second episode, sister Shayne–who is an even younger version of Michelle–evoked great rage from A.J. by dating another boy. And this week, in episode three, we get another look at the bizarro sexual vibe going on between the Lamas clan when Michelle accuses Lorenzo of having been jealous of A.J. when she used to breast feed him when he was a baby. To which Lorenzo responds, bitch you couldn’t even breastfeed. We have a feeling that has something to do with silicone, but we can’t be sure. It might be saline.

If anyone has any idea what this bitch is going on about with the colors thing, please send us an email.