Madonna Talks A-Rod, Admits She’d Rather Get Run Over By A Train Than Marry Jesus Luz. The Phrase Is “Pull” A Train, Madge.

Madonna made an appearance on David Letterman’s show the other night and, really, she was quite charming when not being completely self-absorbed. 

She was quite forthcoming in her interview, discussing her history with Alex Rodriguez, mentioning her past drug use and joking that she would rather die than marry again. Sorry, Jesusito, but we’ve been calling bullshit on those marriage rumors all along.

Also? She ate food. Real food! Pizza food! Check it out:

Pizza! How common!

Give us a break. You never had New York pizza, Madonna Ciccone? Not once when you were a struggling singer in the city, selling pictures of your chocha for extra money, did you think “Hm. What food is cheap and sustaining and readily available in New York City?”

Please. You did not sprout, fully-formed, out of Gwyneth Paltrow’s marcobiotic ass. No one’s impressed.