Pygmy Hedgehogs Will Expose You For The Soft Bitch That You Are

The hardest, prison cholo could not resist the atom bomb of adorableness that is the pygmy hedgehog. Holy shit. That thing is the size of an egg. It would be cute if it were the size of a football, but miniature like that, you might as well suck a tiny, microscopic cock because you are going to be its bitch. According to the Daily Mail, breeders are now trading them online like Pokemon cards and it’s not hard to see why. But before you start googling for a dealer, let’s take a look at some pygmy hedgehog facts:

• Pygmy hedgehogs originate from Egypt.
• They’re a quarter of the size of a wild hedgehog and fit neatly into the palm of a hand.
• They live on a diet of cat or ferret food but unlike their wild cousins are raised in captivity and do not have fleas.
• They can be trained to use a litter tray.
• They are lactose intolerant and cannot eat or drink dairy products, which means they won’t steal your yogurt–score.
• They are nocturnal and only come out to play at night. Perfect for the unemployed.
• This girl has 24 of them. They get lost in her house and reappear in the teapot and shit. Just kill us now.

• They have fangs.

"Twilight, bitches."

• And they fucking swim.

What are you waiting for?

Prickly problem for animal lover who has adopted 24 mischievous pygmy hedgehogs [Daily Mail]