Where Do Latinos Rank On List Of World’s Worst Lovers?
1 October 2009, 2:10 PM. By Alex Alvarez
This image was so apt it made me giddy enough to want to tongue a Spaniard.
If the results of a recent poll conducted by “OnePoll.com” are to be believed, women from 20 different countries believe that men from Germany make the worst lovers and that Spaniards, presumably when not commenting on Guanabee about THE FARCE THAT IS LATINO IDENTITY, make the best lovers in the whole wide world.
No Spanish-speaking Latin American country is included on this list, so to get an idea about what men in such countries are like in bed, you may want to go ahead and consult the highly-scientific International Fuckability Hierarchy: Latin Countries. Or peek into Madonna’s little black book
In any case, here are the results of the poll:
WORLD’S WORST LOVERS:
1. Germany (too smelly)
2. England (too lazy)
3. Sweden (too quick)
4. Holland (too dominating)
5. America (too rough)
6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)
7. Wales (too selfish)
8. Scotland (too loud)
9. Turkey (too sweaty)
10. Russia (too hairy)
WORLD’S BEST LOVERS
1. Spain
2. Brazil
3. Italy
4. France
5. Ireland
6. South Africa
7. Australia
8. New Zealand
9. Denmark
10. Canada
So. No one in Asia is having sex? That’s sad.
Now, we’re not sure about you but being dominated during a pungent, loud, rough, sweaty, hairy quickie by some selfish asshole sounds like it could be a lot of fun.
Note that Romantic countries top the best lovers list. Why might this be? Is it a funny lil’ coincidence? Or a reflection of deeply ingrained racial, ethnic and national expectations on the part of the women polled? Or, poled. As it were. God. Awful.
For the record, we’ve heard the best lovers hail from the Pacific Northwest.
German men are ‘world’s worst lovers’ with English men in second place [Telegraph]
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Spain? Really? Have these pollsters ever listened to Julio Iglesias?
Now you’re just disrespecting your elders. Te voy a dar una nalgada!
Not for nothing, but the waitresses (of all backgrounds) at the diner by my house play J.I. greatest hits album ALL THE TIME. & they’re always happy. True story.
I’ve no idea what “te voy a dar una nalgada” means, as I was raised strictly monolingual and haven’t followed through on my goal to learn Spanish by age 30. But I’m guessing the phrase can’t be all that complimentary.
It means you’re going to get a spanking on your nalgas.
And I completely agree with the Best Top 4.
What a relief. I thought it meant something terrible. Thanks.
The hell Spanish men belong anywhere on the list of “good” lovers, let alone the best. Considering my sister, my Spanish cousins, and my (women) friends and their vast acquaintances who have graphically recounted their various “experiences” with me, the Spanish men have a reputation for not being physically fit and just bad in bed.
I think all of us men–as a whole–are terribly bad in bed. Jesus, I have friends who honestly look to porn for guidance! My advice: just do whatever the hell she wants (exceptions: costumes; “My Little Pony” role playing). If that doesn’t work, learn to fucking cook! It’s the ultimate trump card.
But My Little Pony Porn is so fabulous!
hot
If women are demanding that men role play “My Little Pony” during sex, then men are NOT the problem here. Thanks. Now I’ve got the heebie-jeebies.
um yeah i wouldn’t mind having rough, loud, sweaty sex
Agreed.
And porn is fun to watch–not for guidance, but to laugh at. For reals.