Tancredible!: Tom Tancredo Says He Intends To Run For Governor Of Colorado

Although he has yet to fill out the necessary paperwork required to run, Tom Tancredo has publicly stated he “fully intends” on running for governor of Colorado. 

Tancredo, you’ll recall, unsuccessfully campaigned as a Republican candidate for the United States presidency. But that shouldn’t stop you from Not Voting for him! Let’s list some other major accomplishments Tancredo, who resigned from Congress, has under his belt:

• Tancredo refused to participate in Univision’s Republican debate because it amounted to “pandering” to Spanish-speaking voters, and pandering is simply not something politicians do when campaigning.
• Said he “didn’t know” whether the Obama administration hates white people. They don’t, unless they’re gay.
• He warned Americans that Central American gangs will rape your children unless your fortify the border with an army of robot gryphons.
• He claimed that Barack Obama may be racist for having nominated Sonia Sotomayor, who is probably secretly some sort of Central American gang member who will rape your child. 
• He likened the National Council of La Raza to the KKK, except with less cool outfits and slightly better weekly potlucks at which they discuss how to take over the world. 
• Tom Tancredo ruined Valentine’s Day.

Lucky Colorado.

Tancredo says he ‘fully intends to run’ for governor of Colorado. [Think Progress]