Remember When Alejandra Guzman Used To Be Cool? We Do.

The image you see to your left is the first thing we saw this morning. Yes, it's Alejandra Guzman. Have you guys ever seen those biker shirts that read "if you can read this, the bitch fell off'? This is what we think that injured bitch turned out like.

But Alejandra Guzman wasn't always this terrible looking (or sounding -- her latest effort bombed BIG TIME). She, like countless others -- hi, Britney! -- used to be a graceful pop idol. We're taking a few minutes to look at what turned Alejandra Guzman into LA GUZMAN and then *covers eyes* ush, la vieja que se opera las nalgas? [Eh, the chick with the ass implant?].

Bye Mamå (1988)

Bye Mamå was Alejandra's singing debut. She was pretty, hip enough for the masses, and carried herself in a fun, reckless way. She came from a showbiz background; Sylvia Pinal, her mother, had a lengthy acting career and her father, Enrique Guzman, was one of the first Mexican teen idols along with Angelica Maria. Alejandra's breakthrough single was "La Plaga," an American rock cover her own father once made popular back in the 60's.

But her debut was a little more than a rehash of a rehash, since "Buena Honda" and "Luz De Luna" became moderate hits in their own right. Also, Alejandra's short hairdo became a popular trend with teenage girls:

Dame Tu Amor (1989)

Dame Tu Amor, Alejandra's second record, was a quick follow up to Bye Mama that pushed more 60's and 70's rock stardards. It was her labels attempt at keeping up the momentum "La Plaga" had generated. It kelp her in the spotlight, but didn't do much else.

Eternamente Bella (1990)

Eternamente Bella was HUGE for Alejandra Guzman. The lead single, which carried the records name, was unstoppable. "Un Grito En La Noche" and "Ten Cuidado Con El Corazon" charted well, too. Her outfits became every hip teen's 'going out' clothes:

Flor De Papel (1991)

Hardcore fans are probably gonna bitch about how Alejandra's last eight or so records aren't so bad but, sadly, they are. This was Alejandra's peak as a true idol. Eres, the popular teen magazine, was also in its peek and you would have thought Alejandra owned it all throughout 1991 & 1992. "Hacer El Amor Con Otro," "Reina De Corazones," and "Guera," a shit-flinger at fellow pop star Paulina Rubio, were MASSIVE hits:

Libre (1993)

La Guzman's fifth studio record did well with "Mala Hierba" and "Mirala, Miralo" but it was the beginning of the end. Alejandra had become a mother and she was gradually loosing her edge. It's not that she stopped selling but more like she matured into somebody your divorced aunt could get down with. What hip 18-year-old wants in on that? None. She also had to face the mid-90's techno-pop craze which artists, such as Fey, completely dominated.

As a side note, Alejandra was never taken seriously by real rock n' rollers such as Cafe Tacuba. She would always be a pop act to them and their fans, period.

Enorme (1994)

By her sixth record Alejandra had become a total bore. The singles "Pasa La Vida" and "Despertar" charted but much cooler acts, such as Monica Naranjo, were all of Siempre En Domingo and Eres could talk about:

Cambio De Piel (1996)

Cambio De Piel actually sold well but, again, Alejandra was already working a completely different market. "Ven" and "Toda La Mitad" were the lead singles and it was clear that Alejandra's forte were 80's-styled power ballads -- in the 90's. She was barely in her mid-20's but appealing to the same market as Yuri or Daniela Romo listeners, both singers who peaked a whole 10-years before Alejandra.

Personally, we couldn't stomach this anymore. She turned into that sorostitude with the butterfly tats that sings "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" at your local dive. We, like countless others, stopped paying attention.

Obviously this wasn't the end of her career since she has at least five other studio records -- but it kind of was. Alejandra still tours (often, actually) and sells decent-sized venues. But now anytime she gets press it's never for her music.