Charlie Sheen Says He Has A Girlfriend

Charlie Sheen suddenly appeared, like the Kraken, on The Dan Patrick Show which is, apparently, a radio show on FoxSports that's also broadcast from deep within the bowels of DirectTV. Charlie is seemingly playing at being the Where's Waldo of drug addict celebrities, popping up in the most rando of places. You might recall that he was recently papped on TMZ telling the UCLA baseball team to stay off crack while visiting one of their practices. This, apparently, qualifies him to call a sports radio show and ramble like the homeless guy that pees outside our apartment. Anywho...buried inside that interview is a comment from Chuckles about his plans to spend Valentine's Day with his girlfriend whose name he refused to mention for fear of turning her life upside down. Cuz the crack smoking and the prostitute humping is not already doing that. Then, Dan Patrick asks Charlie Sheen who went with him to UCLA to indulge in some batting practice. Once again, Charlie says, "my girlfriend." Who is this mysterious girlfriend person? A porn star, no doubt. Or at least we hope it's a porn star because that's obviously what Charlie likes and we love seeing a guy's dreams come true.

Source: Dan Patrick Show