Hugo Chavez Might Be Really, Really Sick

So Hugo Chavez has been MIA for a couple of weeks. Earlier this month Hugo flew to Cuba for surgery on a pelvic abscess, from which he supposedly came out fine, but he still hasn't returned to Venezuela. You're probably thinking he's gonna wait around for them fancy golf courses to be built so he can have a little tournament with his buddy Fidel but no; his mother and daughter were apparently flown to Cuba "urgently." Word on the street — and by street we mean el internet, el intertent, el internet, el internet — is that Chavez may be suffering from prostate cancer.