Update: Gay Penguins Buddy & Pedro Find Beards

Today is a sad day for the homosexual penguin community which, as far as I know, consists of Buddy & Pedro. There's probably more loca penguins out there, sure, but I don't personally know them. Not that I personally know Pedro & Buddy either, it's just that they've become public figures. That means that we, complete strangers to Buddy & Pedro, are now living vicariously through their own personal hardships. (OK, I'm cancelling my Lifetime subscription as soon as I get home.)

Last month Buddy & Pedro, two same-sex African penguins who appeared to be having a non-sexual homosexual relationship, were separated because their species is endangered and zookeepers needed them to reproduce. Buddy & Pedro probably said to each other "let's just get this over with" because they've now found themselves a couple of female penguin beards:

"Less than 72 hours after the union ended, Buddy successfully paired with female Farai on November 19, said Tom Mason, curator of birds and invertebrates at the Toronto Zoo, at a news conference Monday. They bonded 'very tightly,' Mr. Mason said." 

Pedro, a bottom used to more conventional turkey baster methods, is having a harder time adjusting:

Life after Buddy might not be as easy for Pedro, who has been courting female Thandiwey for several weeks but with no apparent success. 'Pedro is very ready to go, per se, but his prospective mate is a little standoffish,' Mr. Mason said.

Jesus! Don't those heartless female penguins know how hard it is for these two to put up a straight front?! Give 'em a break, cabronas!

It is also being reported that Buddy, the butch of the relationship, is doing his best to comfort his former partner by sending him "when I stick it to her I'm thinking of you" kites to Pedro.

Source: National Post