Guanabee's Most Popular Stories Of 2011

Hey, Guanabee readers! You know I love you, right? So much that If I had the means to do so, I would go into into your home, office, car -- or wherever you read Guanabee from -- to sexually pat you on the back. And you know what? I would continue love you even if you refused my sexual advances. That's the type of caring person my mother raised me to be and so far I haven't been arrested. Pretty good, huh? It is with all this unconditional amor that I present to you Guanabee's most popular stories of 2011. You clicked on them -- A LOT -- and made them yours once before, so why not have at 'em again? It will be like having good sex with an ex, trust me.

1) Freaky "Non-Human" Mummy Found In Peru [Pictures]

Us earthlings LOVE extraterrestrial stories. We'll never get tired of them. Not even with the hundreds -- shit, probably THOUSANDS -- of alien movies that are made every year. And why? Because we secretly long for agent Mulder & Scully to bust into our room around midnight, ready to gangbang our wildest sexual desires out of us. 

Right? Or is that just me?

2) Brazilian Woman Wins Right To Masturbate At Work

Well of course a story like this one is going to blow up. Mostly because it has universal appeal. Don't YOU wish you could masturbate at work while your hot co-worker watches over? Yeah, thought so.

3) Puerto Rican Senator Roberto Arango Caught Posting Nude Pics On Grindr

This is how I assume almost everybody's train of thought went they read the headline of this story: "Roberto Arango? Who dat? Politician? Grindr pictures? What? Leeme see!"

4) Why William Levy Broke Up With Elizabeth Gutierrez: Some Theories

You're just a bola de chismosos, aren't you? It's OK, I understand. If the hottest man on novelas breaks up with his equally hot wife, the Latino community most certainly needs to be aware of it. It's really of the utmost importance because, you know, one of us might run into them somewhere and knowing they're single will lessen the shame of dry humping them in public.

5) Miami Housewife Cristy Rice's Ugly Divorce From Glen Rice

Again, you homewrecking chismosos looove to see people's personal lives crumble before the public eye.

6) Lorena Herrera's Playboy Photo Shoot

Chichis? Tranny-looking old-school novela actress? You're all about it. It didn't even matter that Lorena Herrera was Photoshopped beyond recognition because you still clicked on the story like a terminally-ill cancer patient clicks on a morphine dispenser.

7) Leaked Nude Pictures Of Vadhir Derbez Having Cybersex

If you clicked on nude pictures of a woman that's been rumored to be a transsexual ever since the beginning of her career, then why wouldn't you click on pictures of some dude's nalgas, right?

Right.

8) Argentinean Soccer Fan Names Twin Daughters "Mara" & "Dona"

I'm not soccer fan but this story got to me. Well, it didn't "get to me," but it made me go "¡Que pedo con este cabron!"

So there you have 'em. You've just scrolled through some of Guanabee's biggest stories of 2011. With that, you've also taken a look into the psychosis of fellow readers like yourself.