feed

Alex Alvarez (619)

http://www.guanabee.com

I enjoy candlelit dinners, long walks on the beach and the satisfying "squish, pop" of a testicle beneath my heel.

Recent Comments

  1. Comment In  A-Rod Was Cheating On Kate Hudson With Elaine Spottswood

    Sup. I just wanted to drop by and make a “Spottswood” pun, but then decided that’d be in poor taste.

    One Reply

  2. Comment In  A-Rod Was Cheating On Kate Hudson With Elaine Spottswood

    Ha! I totally went to elementary school with Elaine and was really good friends with her cousin. And now here she is, dating a famous man with a tiny penis.

    One Reply

  3. Comment In  Guanabee Labs Tries Doritos Mexican Flavors And Asks, “Is It Authentic?”

    And by “partook” I mean “participated.” I am drunk on Doritos.

    No Replies

  4. Comment In  Guanabee Labs Tries Doritos Mexican Flavors And Asks, “Is It Authentic?”

    Well. I am so, so glad my hair is growing out. And that I had the good sense to not believe that greasy casting coach from LA when he told me I’d have a career in acting if only I partook in his home movies.

    Hi guys! I miss you, too.

    One Reply

  5. Comment In  And Now A Word From Alex

    Thanks so much, everyone. Y’all are so sweet. And hot.

    No Replies

Recent Posts

Latinos Weigh In On That Eternal Question: Who Cheats More, Men Or Women?

By Alex Alvarez at 2:30 PM.

7 Comments

The question of whether men or women are more likely to stray has plagued humankind for centuries - or for at least as long as notions like romantic love, dignity and fidelity have colored relationships.

Jenni Rivera’s Father’s Lover Is Starting Fights, Practically One Of The Family

By Alex Alvarez at 1:00 PM.

One Comment

Pedro Rivera, the man responsible for singer Jenni Rivera, is in a bit of trouble now that his alleged lover, Erika Suarez, is accusing his wife, Rosa, of harassing her. Seems like she’s fitting right in.

Sorry, But It’s Still Not Your Business Whether Penelope Cruz Is Engaged

By Alex Alvarez on 18 November 2009, 12:40 PM.

Start Commenting

2010 Billboard Latin Music Awards To Be Held In Puerto Rico

By Alex Alvarez on 18 November 2009, 12:21 PM.

Start Commenting

Nom Nom: Arroz Con Leche

By Alex Alvarez at 12:15 PM.

2 Comments

What better way to beat the cold than by partaking in a warm, creamy bowl of rice pudding? Why, partaking in a warm, creamy bowl of rice pudding that someone else prepared.

Accidental Deportation Of Salvadoran Man Should Come As Surprise To No One

By Alex Alvarez at 11:30 AM.

Start Commenting

The accidental deportation of Salvadoran immigrant José C. Rodríguez-Portillo some two months ago has opened up a can of worms for those who did not formerly realize that ICE is made up of a gang of marauding thugs with the reasoning abilities of a drug-addled lab monkey.

Zoe Saldaña, Alien

By Alex Alvarez on 18 November 2009, 10:33 AM.

Start Commenting

Interesting: Shakira Has Blue Eyes, Is J. Lo In Her Video For “Give It Up To Me”

By Alex Alvarez at 10:24 AM.

13 Comments

Shakira, she of the fascinating and sometimes enraging ability to take on the physical characteristics of other popular performers, seems to be channeling fellow Latina entertainer Jennifer “Don’t Call Me J. Lo” Lopez in the video for her latest single, “Give it up to Me.”

More Latinos Are Playing Tennis, Much To The Confusion Of George Lopez

By Alex Alvarez at 10:15 AM.

5 Comments

The Washington Post reports that tennis, long a game associated with WASPy second wives on their third noses, has increasingly become a favored pastime among Latinos and/or black people.

Rihanna’s New Man Is Tristan Wilds

By Alex Alvarez on 18 November 2009, 10:03 AM.

Start Commenting

Killer Uses “Gay Panic” Defense In Puerto Rican Hate Crime. Now, Where Have We Seen This Before?

By Alex Alvarez at 9:00 AM.

One Comment

Juan Antonio Martínez Matos, the 26-year-old accused of killing 19-year-old Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado in Puerto Rico, claims his actions were the result of “gay panic” and self-defense, and that he initially thought the young man was a female prostitute.

Swim Club Accused Of Discriminating Against Black And/Or Latino Children Files For Bankruptcy

By Alex Alvarez on 18 November 2009, 8:24 AM.

Start Commenting

Guanabee Glossary: Cartelua

By Alex Alvarez at 4:41 PM.

3 Comments

Guanabee Glossary is our attempt to teach you Latino slang and save you from looking like a weird-ass fool in mixed company. Enjoy it, cabrones.

Eva Mendes’ Head Is Queefing Feathers At The 30th Annual MOCA Gala

By Alex Alvarez on 16 November 2009, 3:30 PM.

Start Commenting

Arrest At Walmart Leads To Charges Of Racism

By Alex Alvarez at 2:53 PM.

8 Comments

Heather Ellis (pictured at left) was arrested a little over two years ago following an incident at a Wal*Mart in Missouri. She now awaits a trail that might result in her being incarcerated for up to 15 years. What happened?

Christian Chavez Goes Topless On Twitter

By Alex Alvarez on 16 November 2009, 12:01 PM.

Start Commenting

Mexico’s Anti-Kissing Campaign Features Madrid’s Mayor. Oops.

By Alex Alvarez at 11:42 AM.

One Comment

A campaign to try and prevent swine flu has earned a giant “fail” in Mexico after a poster featured a giant black X over an image of Madrid mayor Alberto Ruiz-Gallardon greeting Esperanza Aguirre, Madrid’s president, with a kiss.

Shayne Lamas Arrested For DUI. What Else Can She Do To Get You To Tune In To Her Reality Show?

By Alex Alvarez at 11:14 AM.

Start Commenting

Shayne Lamas, daughter of Lorenzo Lamas, was arrested over the weekend on suspicion of driving under the influence. Will this finally get someone - anyone - to tune into her reality show? What else does she have to do to make you interested? We’ve got some ideas.

Man Goes Wild At Jonas Brothers Concert In Madrid

By Alex Alvarez on 15 November 2009, 11:35 AM.

Start Commenting

Buenos Aires Judge Approves Gay Marriage In Argentina

By Alex Alvarez at 11:15 AM.

3 Comments

Buenos Aires-based Judge Gabriela Seijus granted a same-sex couple the right to marry, which was many calling this union is the first gay marriage in Latin America. Time to buy a toaster!