In Arab culture, throwing shoes is a grave show of disrespect. “This is the farewell kiss, you dog,” the man shouted in Arabic.

You can see a video of President Bush escaping the pair of shoes intended for his face right here. When asked about the incident President Bush claimed he believed the pair of shoes were a size 10.

The Playboy piece starts with an incredibly cheesy anthem/prayer in adulation of María. Virgin María?!!! Yes! Its worth a read so we have translated for you:

María Florencia Onori

Bendita Seas

You are so adventurious María, when the light reaches your skin and your eyes find those of our readers. Blankets, flowers, bouquets, and stained glass: a playful game of light and shadow that deliver a renewed sensuality to our pages, witnesses of feminine grace where a stain does not fit, but the subtleness of a youthful body that radiates its beauty in a rug of petals. Yours are the hopes and the candor, yours the nakedness at the light of the candles, yours the crown with which December salutes you. Let it be.

And the pictures with Machochip’s interpretation of each:

“Is there a draft near the window? I am all perky!”

“Juan Diego! Yo-hoo! Up here!”

“Confess to me! There is an apparition in your pants right now isn’t there?”

“You can totally see María crowning”

“Wrapped in el cielo? No joke!”

“Is there a candle underneath that stand?”

“There was a draft near the window, this blanket will protect me…!!”

“Jose game me these pearls even though we are in a recession, he is such a buen muchacho that Joseee!”

“24 karat gold, baby!”

“I’m either swept away by God or facing a giant wind machine at a studio in Van Nuys.”

“Ugh. Woozy. I should really get that kid to stop turning water into wine.”

“Ok. muchachos, you really think this will get the whole deflower-a-virgin thing across?”

“Ok. for this take, we need you to moan to your right”

“Herbal Essence commercial: take 7″

“Ay Dios mío! Another crown photo.”

“Dios mío, do you really want me to lose this figure with your son?”

“Covering Up: You’re doing it wrong.”

“Mary models her anniversary gift from Joseph.”

“There’s no room at the inn. but, luckily, i scored these complimentary sheets.”
Video: Playboy Mexico Helps Christmas Come Early With Maria Florencia Onori Posing As The Virgin Mary. Or Just Mary [Guanabee]
Playboy Mexico Shows Naked PIctures of Virgin Maria Florencia Onori Just In Time For Our Lady Of Guadalupe Day [Machochip]
Our Lady of Guadalupe [Wikipedia]

The deal includes competitive pay per article and high exposure. If this description sparks your interest, write a paragraph about yourself and another detailing why you’re right for the job, plus links to articles or blogs you’ve written, to daniel[at]machochip[dot]com.

The deal includes competitive pay per article and high exposure. If this description sparks your interest, write a paragraph about yourself and another detailing why you’re right for the job, plus links to articles or blogs you’ve written, to daniel[at]machochip[dot]com.

Gael Garcia Bernal has released a video for “Quiero que me quieras” in character as Tatto “El Cursi” Verduzco from Rudo y Cursi. And, um…

We kind of totally love it? From his outfits, to the cheap-ass green screen, to the song itself, we are utterly and completely crushing on this video.

We’re especially pleased that he decided to use Cindy and Camilla as his background dancers. Nicely done, ladies! Check out the video for yourself and try to tell us that Gael hasn’t replaced Diego as the charolastra with whom you’d most like to perform unspeakable acts:

It’s kind of like watching a velvet painting come to life and softly make love to you in your Christmas light-adorned mobile home on the border. Sigh.
Gael debuta como cantante grupero

In an effort to keep mothers from abandoning their babies in the streets, Madrid is implementing a new system aimed at allowing these mothers to easily — and anonymously — give up babies for adoption. Women who cannot or do not want to care for their newborn children now have the option of calling a three digit number (to be revealed in the coming week), alerting an emergency dispatch team to pick up the baby at a location designated by the mother. In an effort to dissuade any fear or trepidation on the caller’s part, Spain’s Department of Family and Social Services ensures that the mother’s identity, including age and nationality, will remain completely anonymous.

Survey information suggests that many of the babies abandoned in Spanish streets are left by mothers who happen to be immigrants and who, often enough, did not inform family members that they had gotten pregnant.

Under this new system, this special method of “child abandonment” will not be considered a crime. Usually, such an act is punishable in Spain by one to two years in prison. Engracia Hidalgo of the Family and Social Services assures these mothers that they will not be penalized should they choose to make us of this system:

“The most important thing for these women to know is that they are not committing a crime by giving their children up for adoption, no one is going to come after them, no one is going to deport them.”

Officials hope that this new service will also help families seeking adoption to be connected with babies who are in need of parents to care for them. Currently, there are about Spanish 2,500 families seeking to adopt children within the newborn to three-year-old age range. Connecting such families with the approximately 70 babies abandoned by their mothers in local hospital each year, or the other children and infants left behind elsewhere, can ensure that baby and family both have a happy ending to their stories.

La Comunidad de Madrid irá a recoger a domicilio a los bebés abandonados [20 minutos]

“The Bachelor” season six winner (?), Mary Delgado, has been arrested for being a drunk, disorderly, awesome mess. Delgado was spending a quiet evening at Lorina’s Cantina in Del Rio, Texas, possibly discussing string theory or somesuch, when bar owners decided to throw her out. Delgado refused to leave, saying it was her “constitutional right” to stay as long as she wanted.

Cops were called and took a disgruntled Miss Delgado into their squad car, whereupon she proceeded to kick out their car radio. This is what transpires, pigs, when you choose to mess with someone constitutional right to cry into various empty glasses that once held frozen mango margarita.

Delgado was eventually released from Val Verde County Correctional Facility when her fiance, her fiance, Byron “The Bachelor” Velvick, bailed her out. Delgado was formerly charged with with having punched him in the face sometime last year.

Jealous?

Let’s try to get over our envy and come up with some way to keep Mary in the news so that she won’t have to stoop to being arrested outside of cantinas in Del Rio, Texas. We think she could write a memoir, perhaps:

From De Bachelor to Del Rio: The Mary Delgado Story

Cute, right? Or how about a new reality series! Yeah, that could be fun. It could have lots of cops out, arresting people and violating their constitutional rights. Those cops! But what would such a series be called? Hmm…

Cops: “Bachelor” Gal Fought Squad Car, Lost

Have a free evening this week? We were being polite. Of course you do. We suggest filling that evening by watching a new musical horror / sci-fi / comedy out in selected theaters.

Repo! The Genetic Opera tells the story of a not-too-distant future, where a wave of organ failures results in economic and social collapse save for one company - GeneCo. Run by Rotti Largo (Paul Sorvino), GeneCo sells replacement organs. When customers fail to pay for their new livers, corneas and kidneys, GeneCo sends out Repo Men to go forth and collect their product. The film focuses on one Repo Man, played by Anthony Stewart Head (of “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” fame) and his daughter, Shilo, played by Colombian-American actress Alexa Vega, who suffers from a rare blood disease. The film also features pop / opera (popera?) singer Sarah Brightman as a blind singer who is lent new eyes by GeneCo, Skinny Puppy’s Nivek Ogre as Pavi Largo and Paris Hilton as his sister, Amber Sweet. Amber has a little problem with addiction:

The film is, admittedly, not for everyone. Directed by the same dude who did the very many Saw sequels, the film is full of viscera and boobies. A fair amount of people in the audience with us seemed not to have grasped that this was indeed a rock opera and, as such, everything is sung. Everything. If this makes you giggle incessantly while watching a movie — like a small, developmentally disabled child might — then you might prefer to watch something else, lest you encounter the seething wrath of the girl with short brown hair sitting directly behind you.

Ahem. Anyway. If this seems like something you might enjoy and it happens to be playing at a theater near you, do try and watch it.

Repo! The Genetic Opera [Official Site]

When Victoria’s Secret isn’t busy manufacturing bras that give you heinous, weeping sores, they’re putting on very expensive fashion shows in sexy cities like Miami or Branson (kidding).

The lingerie company’s extravaganzapalooza down in Miami featured Usher, a full orchestra, a runway strewn with rose petals, and model Alessandra Ambrosio’s completely flat belly after giving birth approximately seventeen seconds ago. How does someone who can afford a personal trainer, private chef and top plastic surgeons manage to lose all that weight so quickly???

Also on hand were Adriana Lima, Heidi Klum, Karolina Kurkova, Selita Ebanks, Marisa Miller, Noemie Lenoir, and Miranda Kerr. Pictures of women dressed as warrior angels from Planet Nippletron, after the jump:

Selita Ebanks models our usual bedroom attire.

Run, Heidi, run!

Marisa Miller makes a pretty ostrich-lady.

Miranda Kerr made you a sweet mix CD.

Noemie Lenoir needs a little help keeping it together.

Karolina Kurkova helpfully demonstrates two of our pet peeves: figuring out what sort of facial expression to make whilst being publicly serenaded and belted lingerie.

Not even Adriana Lima is safe from a spontaneous Furby attack.

Alessandra Ambrosio has a chip on her shoulder. Specifically a Cool Ranch Dorito.

Victoria’s Secret has fashion show in Miami Beach

David Alvarez, a 14-year-old dancer, is playing the part of Billy Elliot on Broadway. We’ve mentioned him briefly before but apparently he’s been garnering a lot of attention for his performance, which is very typical of people named Alvarez.

David wanted to pursue dance from a very young age, despite encouragement to become involved in gross things like football:

“David had muscles that were very well-defined, and he was very athletic,” says his dad, also named David, “so everyone wanted him to play a sport like football, hockey or soccer.”

But the family didn’t listen to anyone else and enrolled their son in ballet classes as he wished.

“My parents are very supportive, unlike Billy’s,” the younger David says. “His brother and dad aren’t supportive at all. That’s one lucky thing I have.”

He’s also lucky because his parents are Cuban, and he was born in Montreal. When David was nine, his father, a professor, moved the family to California. Eventually David obtained a scholarship to attend the American Ballet Theater school, prompting another family move to New York. After getting the part of Billy Elliot, the biggest challenge David has had to face is perfecting a convincing British accent:

“English is my third language, and I didn’t speak it very well,” says David, who speaks fluent Spanish and French.

We’re sure he’ll do just fine. He’s going to have to. Because when we call our “primito” to congratulate him and take him out to dinner, we’re going to “forget our wallet” at home.

David Álvarez, 14, goes Broadway in ‘Billy Elliot’

• Comedian Wanda Sykes has come out to the public about being gay in order to have fans know what Prop 8 means to her. She also announced that she “loves labia,” in case there was any remaining confusion on the matter. [The Inquisitr]
• A new study shows one in every three Hispanic households has someone caring for an older family member. Do not get any ideas, Mom. [Business Wire]
• Miley Cyrus is not, as per a team of hacker’s video, dead. In case you were wondering. [A Socialite's Life]

• Prince is against gay marriage. Some jokes kind of write themselves, no? [New Yorker]
• John Mayer apparently has a Google Alert on his name so he’s going to read this. [NY Daily News]

“Total Request Live,” that show that played snippets of videos between episodes of “Film Urself Having Sex With My Mom” and “Who Wants To Shit On A Pornstar?” has finally gone off to that big TV in the sky. This past Sunday marked the last ever episode of the series, a two-hour special called “Total Finale Live,” hosted by the only current late-night host even less funny than Jimmy Kimmel, Carson Daly. For those of you too young to recall, Carson hosted the show back when he was hot. The finale featured a slew of musical guests, both relevant (Beyonce, Christina Aguilera) and otherwise (Kid Rock), who came on to discuss the impact the show has had on their careers.

One intrepid blogger and Guanabee reader inexplicably attended the final taping and sent us some lovely photos from the set. Check them out:

“TRL’s” long-time home, Times Square. If a tourist stops you here and asks if they’re in Times Square, immediately direct them to the subway and instruct them to take the L train “to the last stop.”

Hey, look! It’s Carson Daly, demonstrating how to suck.

Nelly isn’t dead.

And neither is Kid Rock!

Justin Timberlake is here to remind you that you can’t bring sexy back without a receipt.

Woo! It’s popular recording artist, Sasha Fierce!

And here’s Sasha being fitted with Beyonce’s head.

Carson Daly reminisced about his time as host, saying:

“It wasn’t a job, it was a lifestyle, so it’s hard to articulate how profound of a time that was for me and what it’s done for me since,” Daly said.

Among his favorite standout moments on the show is what he calls the “Mariah Carey incident,” when the singer unexpectedly arrived at the studio and proceeded to take off her clothes on-air, and his first interview with ‘N Sync, just days before the boy band exploded onto the U.S. scene.

You mean this Mariah Carey incident?:

We don’t mind telling you, readers, that we once visited “TRL” back in college, when Lala and that Other Guy were hosting. The set was really hot because there are about 56,000 lights shining on you at any given time. They also told us, beforehand, to wear something “brightly colored” on camera. So we dressed in black. They also make you woop and clap every 30 seconds or so, which is something we don’t do unless presented with a fountain of Colt 45. Needless to say, we’re not exactly weeping.

Carson Daly returns for one final ‘Request’ on MTV [NY Daily News]

A potential class action lawsuit against lingerie and booty-short emporium, Victoria’s Secret, contends that some of their bras are made with formaldehyde — the fame ingredient used in making dissection-ready fetal pigs extra delicious — which causes wearers to develop rashes, scarring and other such accessories to match your velour “Pink” pajama bottoms:

“I had the welts … very red, hot to the touch, extremely inflamed, blistery. It itched profusely,” said Roberta Ritter, who describes herself as a longtime Victoria’s Secret shopper. “I couldn’t sleep, waking up itching.

“I was just utterly sick,” she added.

Really? Because that probably sounds utterly hot to this one fetishist out in South Dakota who will totally pay you for video footage. The bras in question are the company’s “Angels Secret Embrace” and “Very Sexy Extreme Me Push-Up” bras. For their part, the people at VS say the allegations are BS:

“We are sorry that a small number of people have had an issue and we want to help them determine the cause. Customer safety and satisfaction are always our primary concerns and we take seriously any issues our customers may have with our products.”

All our bras come from the little girls’ department at Kmart, so this is the first time we hear of any of this. Have any of you experienced such unpleasantness from Victoria’s Secret’s bras?

Victoria’s Secret: Formaldehyde in Bras? [ABC News]

Nuestra Gloria (r) has a new Cuban cookbook, appropriately named Estefan Kitchen, out with her husband, Emilio Esteban. And it seems to contain recipes for the very meals our mom made for us when we were but a wee Guanabee in Miami. To promote the book, Gloria and Emilio visited the 74th hour of the “Today” show with hosts Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb. Hoda informed viewers that they “might not know” that the Estefans own a restaurant, Bongo’s Cuban Café, in Miami. To which Gloria responded, “Actually, we own six.” Some intern is going to be turned into picadillo over this. Luckily, that’s precisely the recipe Gloria and Emilio chose to cook on the show.

Our favorite part is when Gloria suggests making the dish with turkey or chicken [Ed. note: Wrong. Don't attempt this. Eat a hot dog instead if you're going to be an utter turd about picadillo.] for “those who don’t eat meat.” At the risk of promoting stereotypes: That is so Cuban. Video below:

Gloria Estefan Cookbook [Watch Free Episodes]

A Roman Catholic pastor [Ed. note: We'll admit to not knowing how to refer to this man. The source article calls him both a "Catholic priest" as well as "Rev. So and So," although we were under the impression that such a title was usually reserved for deacons, not priests.] at St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Greenville, South Carolina informed parishioners that those who had voted for Barack Obama should refrain from participating in Communion. Rev. Jay Scott Newman [Ed. note: What do we always tell you, Guanababies? People with three names = bad news.] cited Obama’s stance on abortion as a reason for Catholics to not have voted for him. Somewhere, Jesus in rolling his eyes while eating his Lunchables on a puffy cloud:

“Our nation has chosen for its chief executive the most radical pro-abortion politician ever to serve in the United States Senate or to run for president,” Newman wrote, referring to Obama by his full name, including his middle name of Hussein.

Hussein. How frightening! He realizes Jesus was a Middle Eastern man, yes? And that Muslims are also People of the Book?

“Voting for a pro-abortion politician when a plausible pro-life alternative exists constitutes material cooperation with intrinsic evil, and those Catholics who do so place themselves outside of the full communion of Christ’s Church and under the judgment of divine law. Persons in this condition should not receive Holy Communion until and unless they are reconciled to God in the Sacrament of Penance, lest they eat and drink their own condemnation.”

See, here’s the deal, as we see it. Rev. Jay Scott Newman is right in the sense that he is adhering to the laws and mandates of the Catholic Church. But he is a leader of a flock trying to navigate in an imperfect world. Those who adhere to any particular religion are forever finding themselves in a constant battle between fundamentalism and interpretation, spirituality and technicalities, faith and rules. We live in a world where religious mandates must find a way to coincide with secular society. And at the core of Roman Catholicism there is a man whose main message was, “Look. I am tired of turning croutons into wine coolers for your amusement. Can’t we all just love one another, and leave it at that?”

Well. Can’t we?

SC priest: No communion for Obama supporters [Yahoo]