Lesbian-American Lindsay Lohan is “really happy” with her new girlfriend, world’s tiniest frowning DJ - Samantha Ronson: After months of rumours, Lohan finally confirmed she was in a relationship with Ronson - sister of artist/producer Mark Ronson - last...

Vin Diesel is promoting some new, stupid, probably totally Chronicles-of-Ridic movie we’re not going to watch and is talking about what it’s like to be a dad. Yeah, you’d forgotten about his having a baby with Mexican model Paloma...

The next time you annoy the rest of us by sharing pictures on Facebook of your stupid baby being mesmerized by a piece of string, you might actually be saving its life. A woman named Madeleine Robb noticed a...

A mother elephant at the Oregon Zoo rejected her calf almost as soon as he was born, Separated from his mom for his own safety, the little ephelump still cries out for her. Zoo staff have been trying to...

Ricky Martin’s decision to hire a surrogate to carry his children has some people’s pantaloons all in a twist. Tell us how you really feel, metidos sinvergüenzas: “Ricky, the truth is that’s it’s bad. I don’t support or applaud...

¡Hola, Cami! You’ve just appeared on the cover of a magazine looking like you just woke up after a relatively sleepless night of caring for a newborn! Yes! You look absolutely thrilled and just as excited as we are....

A dog in Argentina saved a newborn girl’s life after she was abandoned by her 14-year-old mother. Everyone together now: Awwww! The dog, upon finding the little poor little womb hobbit all wiggley and crying in a field, carried...

Now that we’ve formally congratulated Eva Longoria on her pregnancy / publicity stunt / period bloat, we think we need to think about what sort of gift to give whatever little thing she inevitably farts out. And we think...

Gwen Stefani neatly folded away her collection of Japanese girls in order to shit out a baby. Seems about right, given she’s been pregnant for what seems like three and a quarter years. The baby, a boy, is named...

So this picture of Eva “10 Frivolous-Ass Costume Changes” Longoria looking like she’s holding in a painful hiccup has got people thinking she’s pregnant with a womb troll. She’s also been going on and on about how skinny-fat and...

Diego Luna and his wife, Whatsherface, are now the parents of a new baby boy. The baby, whose name has yet to be publicized (much to the chagrin of obsessed fangirls everywhere), was born yesterday in Los Angeles. Diego...

As a parent, you are completely responsible for molding little Usmail or L’Tina’s grasp on the world and protecting from all the evil inherent therein. Evils like, say, the internet or, more specifically, a future in blogging. Fortunately, there’s...

Teeny little nugget of annoyance, Eva Longoria, is reportedly trying to gain weight out of dedication to her craft. You see, she’s set to play a stay-at-home mom so, obviously, she needs to look “frumpy” and “like a hot-ass...

Great news! Were you aware that it’s National Breastfeeding Week in Argentina? Of course you were. The Argentine government has created the special week in support of mothers and breasts and mothers with breasts and to publicize a campaign...

Karen Wesolowski and Martha Padgett are a lesbian couple who each became pregnant using Martha’s eggs and donor sperm. Each woman then gave birth to twins twins, effectively creating a set of quadruplets together. That. Is a lot of...

Oh, laaaadies! Tired of dating men who, for whatever reason, are unable or unwilling to settle down and get to baby-making? Fed up with the usual vacation to Europe (old!) or Boca Raton, Florida (really, really old!)? Then perhaps...

So Matt Damon packed on a lot of weight in order to play a whistleblower in his upcoming film, The Informant. But, ok, look. Matt Damon could drink gravy and shave off his eyebrows and we’d still think he’s...

Imagine the worst thing in the world. Being eaten alive by a colony of angry fire ants? Discovering you’ve contracted a UTI halfway on a flight to Japan? Working as J-Lo’s assistant? None of these are even close. Because...

And, now, drum roll please: Here are more pictures of Honor Marie first baby for OK! magazine, alongside new mom Jessica Alba and total DILF Cash Warren. And, you know, fine. We’ll admit it. This is one adorable family....

Honor Marie has finally, as expected, made her magazine debut on the cover of OK!, posing with proud mom Jessica Alba. Jessica shares what it feels like to have given birth to some sort of strange alien mutant-baby: “It...

Jessica Alba has reportedly sold the first baby pictures of daughter Honor Marie to OK! for $1.5 million dollars - about the same Christina Aguilera fetched for pictures of baby Max, which proved to be a wildly successful move,...

Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves have gone ahead and let us know the name of their newborn baby boy. And, no, it wasn’t “Brometheus McConaughey” as we’d so ardently hoped but, rather, Levi Alves McConaughey. Cute, right? Matthew helpfully...

Perpetually shirtless actor Matthew McConaughey is now the father of what will probably be a perpetually shirtless little boy. McConaughey’s girlfriend, often-shirted Brazilian model Camila Alves, gave birth to the 7 pound, 4 ounce bebito at 6:22 p.m. last...

Uh, so. Cindy reminded us that Thomas had mentioned he was, in fact, the owner of a penis. Or, technically, an enlarged clitoris that could be used to have intercourse. At the time, we didn’t really wonder what sort...

Formerly pregnant transman Thomas Beatie finally gave birth today. And, in case you were wondering, he… Hmm. How to put this? Pushed the baby out through his vagina: The birth - at a hospital in Bend, Oregon - was...

Jessica Alba and husband Cash Warren stepped out with their baby daughter, Honor Marie, for the first time since pooping her out, but kept the little troll all covered up in her baby carrier. Since Jessica doesn’t see it...

Eeeeeee look at her little bitty feet and teeny little unibrow! Salma Hayek took baby Valentina out of her miniature solid gold prambulator to take a few steps and learn how to walk along the streets of Los Angeles....

A forty-seven year-old Italian woman has been freed after having been imprisoned in her family’s home for nearly two decades, presumably because she had a child out of wedlock: Authorities arrested the woman’s brother, a farmhand, and sister, who...

Gisele spent Father’s Day kicking off her ugly-ass sandals (not to be confused with ugly ass-sandals, which is a problem Gisele does not have) and spending some time with boyfriend Tom Brady and his son, John, from his doomed...

Now that Jessica Alba’s baby has slithered out, her family is coming forward to get some press send their good wishes. First, her darling Daddy Mark, who admits Jessica is his favorite child and her brother Josh can go...

‘Member how Jessica Alba was all “I’m only giving my baby photos to Guanabee, waa waa” or whatever? Well, as predicted by us, it turns out that was a lie,: Several magazine insiders say Alba’s claim about the offers...

Naomi Campbell has reportedly undergone surgery that would make her able to have children. Isn’t there some law against this sort of thing?: Says the model: “Now [that] I can have a child I would like one. I’m even...

New mom Jessica Alba says she hasn’t gotten any offers from magazines to run the first photos of the thing she just had removed: “I haven’t really gotten any (offers) – not that I’m aware of. You have to...

Jessica Alba gave birth to a daughter yesterday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. Her husband, Cash Warren, was at her side. Just out of throwing distance: During her pregnancy, Alba admitted, “anything could make me incredibly angry...

Heterosexual actor and Dungeons & Dragons enthusiast Vin Diesel has injected his sperm into a woman in order to cook up a baby. His girlfriend, a Mexican model named Paloma Jimenez, became parents to a baby girl on April...

Sexually sexual sexpot Christina Aguilera would like to have another baby, because it being a mom makes her feel sexy: When asked if she wants more babies, Christina replied: “Oh, eventually, yes! Yess, absolutely. Absolutely! “Motherhood comes very naturally...

We were trying to cobble together some sort of joke involving “fruit of her loans” and “not ready for this jelly” but we’re on our third Cuba Libre and grossed ourselves out thoroughly. But, just making you aware. We...

Christina Aguilera is pimping out her infant son, Max, for a “Rock the Vote” campaign. She’s going after the Latina-with-babies-who-don’t-move-magazines demographic, we guess: In the new broadcast ad, set to debut later this summer, Aguilera sings a lullaby of...

Jennifer Lopez’s embarrassingly less famous and almost offensively unreal sister, news anchor Lynda, is pregnant. And not by a turkey baster encrusted with emeralds, because she is poor and horrible: The 34-year-old news anchor showed off a baby bump...

Womb-troll-laden Jessica Alba admits she’s a lazy, gluttonous robot in the upcoming issue of Fit Pregnancy magazine: “At the end of the day I am so tired I can’t function or speak and my eyes glaze over,” Alba, 27,...

Angelina Jolie, who is rumored to be expecting twin girls, has an entire team of specially-trained ninja fighters waiting in the wings for her to pop: Angie’s currently staying at the plush Villa Maryland on the French Riviera and...

Actress Musician Model A person named Nicole Richie posed for Harper’s Bazaar magazine with her latest accessory, some little beanbag with a face or something. Nicole and her boyfriend, Joel Madden, slapped on some eyeliner and held up the...

Angelina Jolie is reportedly pregnant with a pair of female uterine maggots who will crush Jennifer Lopez’s twins with their mighty talons while cherubim sing from on high. Or something, But, woe! For all is not well in Angelina’s...

The whole “Amy Winehouse is taking a shit on Baby Jesus” thing left a bad, slightly vegetable-like, slightly sour taste in our mouths. We prefer religion done right. Like when it’s recited by babies who have little to no...

Xochitl Parra is a 17-year-old girl who gave birth at home, secretly and without her family having known she was pregnant, and then walked to the hospital with her baby still attached by umbilical cord. Ok: “I was just...

There’s nothing quite so relaxing as taking a much-deserved vacation, right? Especially with a couple of demon-babies crying non-stop during an entire flight. Such is the scenario travelers have to look forward to if they share a plane with...

Beyonce is apparently pregnant with a baby or a ball of hair or a diamond made of other diamonds. Or something. This is how she managed to get Jay-Z to walk down the aisle amidst bagillion dollar flower arrangements...

“Saturday Night Live’s” Amy Poehler’s uterus is filled with baby, thanks in part to former “Arrested Development” star Will Arnett. News of her pregnancy arrives just in time for us to remember not to watch her new movie with...

Here’s Ashlee Simpson talking to The Today Show’s Matt Lauer about whether or not she has a Fetus Wentz all up in her uterus. Oh, and we guess she has a new album to promote, too. Whatever. We used...

So Ashlee Simpson is totally not pregnant, right? Totally not! But say she was. Papa Joe thinks the baby photos would go for one million dollars. Because Papa Joe is a mustachiod villian from the 1800’s: A magazine source...