Britney Spears new single ‘Womanizer” is out. And, surprise!, it sounds like a robot having diarrhea. Clay Aiken was paid 500,000 to be gay and babied on the cover of People. It was such a “low” figure because of...

Perez Hilton has released his first single, entitled “The Clap.” Our single, “Coño Man, What Kind Of Mierda Is This?” comes out next week on our debut album Awko Taco And The Guanababies. [Random Citations] Emilio Navaira’s brother says...

The Daily Mail is really ecstatic that Britney Spears “finally” looks thin, even if that thinness is the result of excessive airbrushing for her new single’s promotional shots. [Daily Mail] “The Girls Next Door’s” Kendra Wilkinson is engaged to...

And now Piper Palin is pregnant. With a pack of pickled peppers. Kidding! She sure looks adorable spitting on a Downs baby, though. This list of “Hollywood’s 5 Saddest Attempts At Feminism” is awesome, frightening. [Cracked] Britney is opening...

The trailer for Lindsay Lohan’s latest movie is out. Apparently it’s about some fat lady? Who lies? Or something. John McCain pulled out of an interview with Larry King because he thought being asked for an example of a...

Ever wonder why some singers’ vocals sound like a robot hiccuping? It’s because that’s basically all they are. Take this video of Britney Spears during a concert as proof. The feed from her live mic has isolated her vocals...

Britney Spears and Russell Brand’s VMA promos are kinda cute, kinda creepy. We’ve included another promo after the jump, if you’ve yet to have your fill of English comedians and American …somethings. Is Katie Holmes pregnant? Or just trying...

People en Español have come out with their “Best & Worst Dressed” issue and, mericful heaves, are there some heinous outfits showcased therein. But these kind of lists always make us wonder who, really, has the authority to deem...

It’s true. The public only cares about beautiful people. A political reality since at least the Kennedy-Nixon race when the first televised debates occurred. Which is basically why Barack Obama is captivating the world and old, fossilized McCain is,...

Nestor Carbonell plays the Latino mayor of Gotham City in The Dark Knight. God, what we’d give to be his Latina intern. [IMDB] Jennifer Garner is pregnant again! She’s giving birth to a gigantic yawn. [Us Weekly] Britney Spears...

Topless photos, quickie marriages and various relapses, oh my! In an effort to answer the oft-asked question, “What’s going on with kids today?” Guanabee Associate Editor Alex Alvarez takes a look at the crop of young, rehabulous female stars...

Some girl that weighs more than a toddler stole Anna Nicole Smith’s face to win this season’s “America’s Next Top Model.” [Jezebel] …But some suspect it’s all a conspiracy and that her win was staged from the beginning. [FourFour]...

Mel Gibson has reportedly taken Britney Spears and her father, “Pa,” on a vacation to Costa Rica. HOT NEW COUPLE ALERT! We spotted them leaving on a private plane to the Central American state early this morning. Sources tell...

We want to touch Neil Patrick Harris’ butt, but, evidently, that privilege is reserved for famous psychotics, not unknown ones. Britney Spears returned to her groundbreaking role as “Abby” on “How I Met Your Mother.” We would suggest Brit...

Paris Hilton is now a skinnier version of Paris Hilton, looks more like a Penis Hilton. [The Sun] Uma Thurman’s alleged stalker is so emo. [NY Times] Britney Spears various wigs, Walgreens visits and Classic statues carved of Cheez...

Eva Longoria is posing for BeBe again. Still looking like a wet chihuahua. [A Socialite’s Life] Paris Hilton has apologized for saying Kim Kardashian’s ass looks like “cottage cheese in a trash bag.” Better than a half-gnawed stick of...

We’re voting Frickles Mudcat, but Hillary Clinton is far and away the candidate with which we’d most like to make regrettable, whiskey-soaked decisions. Cate Blanchett gave birth to her third son, Ignatius. We too hate babies, Cate. [People] Amy...

Mario Lopez will take the stage in “A Chorus Line.” Any excuse to post this picture. [A Socialite’s Life] Vanilla Ice has been arrested for beating his wife. Pretty cold. [Hollywood Rag] Charlie Sheen’s fiancée, Brooke Mueller, is apparently...

Former singer Britney Spears is reportedly in talks to have her own reality TV series. Since when have “Britney” and “reality” made any sense together?: “She believes a reality show is a no-brainer. She can be herself and not...

Surprise! Oily heir Brandon Davis is a racist. But only behind tinted glass, when he thinks you can’t hear him. A new strain of medical marijuana is being marketed under the name “Tom Cruise Purple.” Tom Cruise is, of...

A weatherman and news anchor in Haiti bring us the best 9 seconds on the internet. And it doesn’t involve a single lolcat. [Metafilter] Jennifer Lopez admits she plays with her leftover pregnancy belly. She also requests you put...

Amy Winehouse’s crusty self is getting shipped to rehab again, possibly in South Africa. Also, “Kebabs, scabs and rehab” is the best title ever. God, we love British tabs SO. HARD! [The Sun] Tina Fey wants Britney Spears to...

Guess who’s looking cute and healthy and funnysmartandgreat in her role as a receptionist on “How I Met Your Mother?” Hint: Her name sounds like “Sritney Bpears.” And is in the headline of this post. We’re really happy to...

“South Park” guesses what Britney Spears’ demise might be like. We hope girl gets her head right. [Funny or Die, via Hollywood Rag] Lindsay Lohan might have a sex tape. Actually, scratch that. Lindsay Lohan definitely has a sex...

Britney Spears premiered the video for her latest single, “Break the Ice,” and, in what is perhaps a wise move on her people’s part, Brit does not actually appear. Neither does her actual, human voice, either, but that’s true...

Jennifer Aniston is staying as a guest in Gloria Estefan’s home while she shoots a movie in Miami. And that’s about as interesting as Jennifer Aniston news gets. [Hissip] Paparazzi act like 14 year old girls in the pages...

Ain’t no party like a Hillary Clinton, Scranton, PA high school choir serenade party, y’all. [YouTube] Everyone’s mad at Geraldine Ferraro because she said Barack Obama is a black man. [New York Times] Vince Neil is shooting a reality...

Celine Dion “forgot” to shave her legs before a concert. Much like we “forget” to shave our legs all winter or whenever we have a boyfriend. [¡Huay! mi MAMA! 2.0] Madonna once told Justin Timberlake to drop his pants...

Vesgo and Silvio are a Brazilian comedy duo with a television show on Rede TV. We thought Brazilians were relegated to sweet, sweet humpin’ meat, but when you change the meaning of comedy to include jumping around, screaming and...

Paris Hilton is deep, wide. [A Socialite’s Life] Britney Spears has dumped her boyfriend / maybe-husband. And here we thought quickie weddings in Mexico lasted forever. Or at least three months. [Hollywood Rag] Oscar-winning actress Marion Cotillard thinks 9/11...

Tired of having to deal with automated operators? Then check out this list of companies that will allow to talk with an actual human being. Or stop calling 1-900 numbers, perv. [Gethuman] Surprise! In ten years, Britney Spears will...

Good ol’ Brit Bits. Hello darkness, my old friend. I’ve come to talk with you again. [WWTDD] Jessica Simpson learned nothing from the flaming bag of shit on the doorstep of pop culture that was “Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica.”...

Last week the gossip rags were abuzz with rumors that Britney Spears got illegally married to her paparazzi friend Adnan Ghalibin last month in Mexico. Illegally because her daddy is technically in charge of her these days, not to...

Are Brad and Angelina getting married? Or is the fact that they’re slowly morphing into the same person enough? [MSNBC] Meanwhile, it looks as if Janet Jackson might never have another secret-marriage-resulting-in-a-painful-high-profile-divorce ever, ever again. [People] Whatever you do,...

“Entertainment Tonight” and “The Insider” were set to show footage of actor Heath Ledger doing drugs at the Chateau Marmont two years ago. And now they’re like “Uh, so nevermind about that,” so some Australian station will show it...

Because this is what the world has some to and we’re not one to pretend to be better than this, we’re going to go ahead and report that Britney Spears, perhaps jealous of her younger sister, skipped a court...

Mexican “Brujo Mayor,” Professor Antonio Vazquez Alba, has consulted his trusty tarot cards and cast his predictions for 2008. Among these, he sees that Luis Miguel will gain weight, Antonio Banderas will flirt with bisexuality, three Mexican singers will...

Well, Britney Spears’ shit has done hit the fan. She was rushed to a hospital this morning after holding her two young children hostage, refusing to turn them over to her ex, Kevin Federline’s, bodyguard. She is said to...

Hey Los Angelenos, want to live inside Britney Spears’ Malibu home? Surprisingly it’s suddenly available to lease for a steal! (Okay, $9 million.) There’s an option to buy in 6 months, but considering the current situation in that area,...

Britney Spears’ ex-bodyguard Tony Berretto, in collaboration with News Of The World has released this video declaring his sincere concern over the well-being of Britney’s children. We were left in complete ‘awe’ after watching the video, trying to figure...

• A very scary man analyzes Penelope Cruz’s cousin’s boobs. [Drunken Stepfather] • Cycle nine (what happened to seasons?) of “America’s Next Top Model” premieres tonight and we don’t see any Latinas on the roster. Guess we’re out of...

As America mourned the Britney Spears VMA performance last week that, to us, seemed fairly typical, Boy Shakritney was busy making this video to help us through the pain. In case you missed it on VH1’s “The Best Week...

A reporter from Univisión gossip show “El Gordo Y La Flaca” (which, by the way, is like calling Mary Hart from “Entertainment Tonight” a legit anchor lady) recently showed Noelia a valid wedding certificate confirming her current marriage to...

Due to a late-summer denouement in Latino celebrity news (i.e., Noelia’s chocha and Thalía’s impregnation are entertaining for only so long), People En Español has released its best and worst dressed list of 2007. The best dressed half of...

While Latinos are striving to be Whiter, it seems these days White people are striving to be more ghetto. So says the Los Angeles Times, anyway, in a searing expose entitled, “The lost generation’s race to the bottom.” There...