The American publishers of Playboy magazine, ensconced in their giant snow bunny tower somewhere over Chicago, have issued an apology to Catholics everywhere for the Mexican Playboy issue that hit newsstands last week with Maria Florencia Onori on the...

Turns out that not only are we huge, angry racists, Latino voters are also racists… but for religion! Whatever that is called! We are it. On the whole, Catholic Hispanics show a greater support for Barack Obama, whereas Protestant...

It turns out Brazil, the country where nakedness is a national pastime, is so conservatively Catholic that a court is ordering the publishers of Playboy to halt further distribution of that country’s August issue after some trollop actress named...

Padre Antonio Rungi of Italy hopes to hold “Miss Sister Italy 2008”—a beauty pageant for nuns from all over the world—next month on his blog (which seems to be down right now, but here it is cached.) to celebrate...

Webster Cook, a college student from Orange County… wait for it… Florida (sigh) has been receiving death threats from Catholics after stealing the Eucharist from a church. For those who don’t know, the Eucharist is a consecrated communion wafer...

Some photographer caught Pope Benedict XVI smoking an “Italian-made filter king” cigarette on Vatican grounds while he was supposed to be off praying by himself. Also, we found this on derekclontz.com, so who knows if it’s true. The funny...

The pope’s astronomer José Gabriel Funes has been telling the press lately that space aliens are A-Okay with God. The pope has an astronomer? The Pope’s astronomer, José Gabriel Funes, a Jesuit priest, told [Vatican newspaper] L’Osservatore Romano that...

Texting: It’s a movement of da youths. Which is why Pope Benedict XVI is going to send “daily inspirational text messages” to teens in Australia during the week surrounding World Youth Day. But that’s not all! The plan will...

If you missed Pope Benedict XVI’s historic first visit to New York City, you missed many fun photo-ops of citified clergy. Like this one of dorky, young priests in hip-hop head gear at a Young Catholics Youth Rally held...

Didn’t get to make it to Washington, D.C. for Pope Benedict XVI’s historic first visit? Now that he’s in New York, let’s take look back at those two magical days in our nation’s capital. The highlights, the low lights,...

Fortunately we never have to ponder that question since someone did Gawker Stalk Pope Benedict XVI this morning. HA! We are so excited to have the Papa in town thanks to intense media coverage that is brainwashing us into...

The Pope is coming tomorrow! At 4:00! And Americans have trotted out their finest crafts from China bearing his likeness. First there was the DC Metro television spot featuring a bobblehead Pope Benedict XVI that is so boring we...

Pope Benedict XVI is coming in three days! We are so excited here at Guanabee even though we are a Jewish-owned publication. The rest of us menial laborers were all forced to go to Catholic church or school most...

Catholics in Washington D.C. are hella mad over a Metro ad featuring a bobble-head pope. The online ad aims to encourage people to use mass transit in order to attend the upcoming Papal Mass: In the ad, an enlightened...

We are so Catholic in ‘08! But we totally missed this last summer: An article in the New York Daily News today says that quinceañeras got a formal nod from the Vatican last year in the hopes that it...

Pope Benedict XVI was in the news this weekend for saying anti-gay thingamabobs during the homily of his annual New Year’s Day mass at the Vatican: Pope Benedict ushered in the New Year on Tuesday by criticising policies that...

Whenever we see a headline pop up on the news feed that says someone saw a miraculous image on their toast, in their toilet bowl or, in this case, on an x-ray of their lungs, we don’t have to check...

A sculpture of Jesucristo made out of six-feet of anatomically-correct, rich, delicious, milk chocolate that was stopped from showing in Manhattan last April amid protests from The Catholic League (like The Human League but without the human part), is...

There’s no doubt that apparitions are the very best part of being Catholic. Whether it’s on your tortilla or your turd, you really never know when The Lord or His Moms might show up. Which is why we love...

A Mexican priest was pulled over in Monterrey this week for drunk driving and proceeded to try and beat the snot out of a cop. After a police officer confirmed he was wasted, the priest allegedly threw some punches,...

Piety and plastic collide, as a new IRS regulation demanding proof of church donations under $250 has houses of worship considering the addition of special ATMs to their grounds. (Nothing gets people to embrace out-of-place technology like the opportunity...

In light of yesterday’s news that 508 sexually abused Catholics will receive $660 million from the Los Angeles Archdiocese, we submit this absurd yet classic clip of a young boy who was touched by God without being touched by...

Rather than face decades-old sexual abuse allegations in court today, the Los Angeles branch of the Roman Catholic Church apologized yesterday to 508 victims it has agreed to pay a record-shattering $660 million group settlement. As leader of the...

A study says that Hispanic Catholics are more likely to perform charismatic rituals, like speaking in tongues, than their non-Hispanic counterparts. Such practices more commonly found in Pentecostal churches also include prophesying and other snake handling/voodoo type stuff that...