13 November 2009

Tancredible!: Tom Tancredo Says He Intends To Run For Governor Of Colorado

By Alex Alvarez at 11:21 AM.

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Although he has yet to fill out the necessary paperwork required to run, Tom Tancredo has publicly stated he “fully intends” on running for governor of Colorado. God, we missed him.

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15 October 2009

FOUND! The Six Year-Old Thought To Be Flying Alone In A Hot Air Balloon Over Colorado

By Cindy Casares at 3:02 PM.

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BREAKING UPDATE: 3:09 PM MST– Falcon Heene has been found. He was originally thought to be flying in a giant, mylar, helium balloon over Fort Collins, Colorado, but he was hiding in a box in an attic. Sorry for the inconvenience, world press!

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31 August 2009

Adventures In Racial Profiling: Beware Of Camping Latinos

By Alex Alvarez at 4:17 PM.

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The U.S. Forest Service issues a statement recently warning campers of a possible marijuana-cultivation ring in Colorado! And they’re warning people to keep an eye out for Latinos and their potted meat products.

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9 April 2009

Colorado Woman’s Tofu License Plate Takes A Turn For The Stupid

By Alex Alvarez at 1:00 PM.

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 Kelly Coffman-Lee’s suggestion for a vegan-friendly license plate was nixed by Colorado’s Department of Motor Vehicles because they found it to be too sexual. Her suggestion, “ILVTOFU,” could be construed as endorsing vagitarianism.

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2 January 2009

Jim Blanning Planned To Bomb Aspen, Colorado, Killed Self Instead

By Alex Alvarez at 12:45 PM.

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