Oh God. It’s Friday. By the time you’re reading this, we’ll be in Disney World wondering why the hell anyone willingly lives in Orlando and wrestling with that most ancient of philosophical conundrums: How come Goofy wears clothes whilst...

Wow. This day has been kinda s l o w. Which is fine, because all we’ve really wanted to do this week was lie with the covers over our head while Justin Gaston paints our toenails. With his dick....

One of the perks of working as a blogger is being able to interact with commenters. You write something, publish it and have the immediate gratification of having people laugh along with you, offer an interesting take on the...

(For some reason, Googling “seven minutes in heaven” gets you lots of pictures of emo boys. We’re going to go ahead and go with it.) Ah, another week nears its end. We’ve accomplished so much: Bitch has been saved!...

Ughghghghghgh. We’ve been dealing with an awful case of “whiskey mouth” today, plus a headache, plus nausea, plus horrible ladycramps in the empty cobweb-enshrouded vessel that is our uterus. Luckily, though, we had a few funny comments from you...

America! Land of the free! The brave! 6.1% unemployment! Land of hockey moms (aka Secret Traitors To Canadialand), pregnant teens named after English cities, tacky and self-serving references to 9/11, bacon donuts and lots of important choices made by...

We weren’t going to initially do a Commenter Shout-Out this week because we got mostly a lot of people arguing about whether or not Puerto Rico rocks / sucks / is a state / a ghetto / a planet...

We haven’t done a Commenter Shout-Out in a while because, save for those by the same few people who are consistently witty / insightful / articulate / hot, most of the comments have been little turd nuggets floating in...

It’s been quite an incendiary week, huh babies? What with all the human tangerines, hot beach wear, and dyke drama, we just wanted to cuddle up with a vibrator good book. And, then, a single comment sent to us...

It’s Friday. We’ve been reading about celebrity cameltoes and listening to Ginuwine’s “Pony” on a loop, so. It’s been a pretty excellent day. We’re going to end it on an up note by celebrating a man who can make...

Finally, Friday is upon us. Time to run barefoot through fields of heather with an entourage of puppies and later wake up frothing at the mouth on some stranger’s rooftop. But, before we do, let’s take a little time...

Friday is so close we can almost smell it caked in our hair the morning after! Yum. And, as we usually do when we remember or when there are comments satisfactory enough to warrant, we’re farting out a commenter...

Because either way you pronounce, be it properly or gringofied, “Quintana” has a sort of regal ring to it. This funny lil’ commenter rarely leaves comments, but still managed to produce two that had laughing. Or at least grimacing...

Well, children. It’s time once again to gather ‘round the computer screen, hold hands, and sing the praises of one of our lovely and talented little Guanababies. That’s right! It’s time for a shout-out. This week, we applaud la...

Thank the little baby Jesus it’s finally Friday. We still haven’t fully digested that animal-style In ‘N Out burger we had last weekend, but the pile of already half-melted, dirty, snowy sludge on our fire escape makes us feel...

Well, it’s that time of the week again. We’re well into our fourth tumbler-full of Kool-Aid and Hypnotiq and, either because of despite that, we’re finding some of this week’s comments particularly hilarious. We’re particularly impressed by the quantity...

Every once in a while, we come across a candidate for our Commenter Shout-Out who brings with him or her the promise of making a POSITIVE impact on the world, who seems like he will make a difference, who...

They say that every little girl is a princess, but whenever we wear our tiara to our corner bodega to buy Diet Coke, gummy worms and Vagisil, people stare. And sometimes call the police, unaware that princesses are allowed...

Sometimes, commenters make us cry out of frustration or boredom. Sometimes, they make us cry because we imagine what some of them must look like, typing away in their mothers’ basements when not indulging in a little Harry Potter...