Ringo Starr is not going to signing any of your fucking fan mail because he’s too busy. Peace & love, motherfuckers. Is Zac Efron going to get all naked for penis-pony-play Equus? [The Post Chronicle] Maureen McCormick, the original...

Ball-hitting-person Cristiano Ronaldo is shedding his popped collar polos for his 2009 calendar. Now you can bear witness to his impeccable manscaping every single day of the year or until you forget to use your calendar midway through February....

There’s nothing like a man in a Speedo. Except, possibly, a pair of kiwis in a slingshot. Speedos (Not to be confused with SEEDO, as we were when Googling earlier.) are often the swimming apparel of choice for men...

Our hermanisimo, Machochip, is all about David Beckham and so omg super excited over the news that Golden Balls ® is getting his own musical. The show, entitled David Beckham – The Theatre of Dreams will premiere in London’s...

Amateur porn star and amateurish singer, Noelia, recently expressed a desire to make a video alongside chipmunk-voiced soccer player David Beckham. The always subtle star said: “That would be the end of Victoria (laughs). I would do a music...

Big Bird David Beckham and Grouch Jessica Alba are both set to star in upcoming episodes of Sesame Street. Oh, what fun! This post brought to you by the letters “R”, “O”, “F” and “L:” The seminal kids’ show...

Eva Mendes will be representing Calvin Klein at the CFDA Awards gala. It’s nice that they’re giving plus-size models some attention. [Fashion Week Daily] Indiana Jones and Ally McBeal are getting married, which would be totally exciting if this...

CNN reporter Richard Quest arrested for meth possession in Central Park at 1 a.m, and being generally awesome. [Private Officer News] We would probably kill our mother for the chance to lick David Beckham’s eyebrows. Oh, and something about...

“South Park” guesses what Britney Spears’ demise might be like. We hope girl gets her head right. [Funny or Die, via Hollywood Rag] Lindsay Lohan might have a sex tape. Actually, scratch that. Lindsay Lohan definitely has a sex...

Mandy Moore’s mother left her dad for another woman. This is by far the most interesting thing Mandy Moore has never done. [Entertainmentwise] Scarlett Johansson sold herself to some British dude for $40,100. We guess American governors are just...

Jennifer Lopez, Ricky Martin, Paulina Rubio, David Beckham and many other famous names have voiced their support for Spanish singer Alejandro Sanz after he was barred from performing in Venezuela, presumably because of his publicized condemnation of Hugo Chavez:...

Salma Hayek placed the winning bid to have a private coaching lesson with David Beckham at Madonna’s Masturbatory Excercise in Self-Promotion benefit dinner for children in Malawi. Salma beat out prowling cougar Anna Wintour, editor of American Vogue and...

Oh my God, you guys. We are so totally excited about our new, little brother site Machochip because it’s going to have pictures of hot, sweaty athletes without shirts. Wait, Machochip says that’s homo shit and to shut up....

• The director of the upcoming New York Salsa Congress got into salsa to attract women. Wonder if it’ll work on attendees. [Village Voice] • Ryan Seacrest will be emcee of next year’s Super Bowl. And we thought this...

We don’t know or care anything about soccer, (plus, it’s friday at the end of summer. ain’t SHIT going on out there.) But we do know that in Los Angeles (there had to be some homies in the crowd,...

• The Today Show says white is the new black. We thought Mexicans were. [Today Show] • Almodovar wants to work in English. Let’s hope it works out better than Antonio Banderas and Penelope Cruz. Cuz it’s three strikes...

• Even David Beckham’s unearthly hotness could not spare Mayor Villaraigosa from his city’s wrath. [Defamer] • Jars of salsa created a bomb scare. Oh Jesus. Someone’s going to write an ad based on this. [9news] • Shakira’s fiancée...