23-year-old Victor Hugo Mireles-Andrade knows that, when smuggling coke, it’s important to have the good Lord on your side, hallelujah. So when he decided to hide $147,000 worth of coke in four, hollowed-out plaques of La Virgensita, he knew...

A grassroots effort to educate the public on teen cough syrup abuse, “Five Moms,” is looking to the Spanish-speaking community to help get the word out about the possible dangers of cough medicine abuse. And not only on how,...

There’s a new drug in town called Snurf. Snurf, people. Before we get into the name, Snurf is said (on the internet, which is full of lies and drugs, apparently) to be pure DMX which stands for dextromethorphan, which...

Dara Torres is attending her 5th Olympics, and despite all the speculation regarding whether or not she’s been taking performance enhancing drugs, is no doubt a remarkable woman. Here, she discusses how the rumors of steroid use are a...

Aw, have you missed the sweet, sticky comedic stylings of Cheech and Chong? No? Sucks to be you, because the two have teamed up yet again to embark on their “Hey, What’s That Smell?” comedy tour. Why are the...

If you’re looking for a way to kill yourself slowly, you can plan a trip to, say, Boca Raton, Florida. But if you’d like to get things moving a little more quickly, we’d suggest heading to Tijuana to purchase...

A Long Island couple has filed suit against the town of Hampton Bays, claiming police raided their diner in an attempt to dissuade them from holding their weekly “Hispanic Nights.” Sad! Mean! But, then the police were like, um,...

Oh, what a happy life a “Mexican zebra” must live! Born as super boring burros, they’re forced to stand still for hours while someone with a tube of dye and a toothbrush paints them striped so that they can...

Dara Torres is a 41-year-old-swimmer with a snazzy little haircut who has qualified to compete in the upcoming Olympic games yet again. And good for her annoyingly talented ass, right? Only, strangley, some might suspect that her athletic performance,...

Argentina, that mythical land of nose jobs and activities made to ruin them completely, has topped the United Nations list of cocaine-abusing nations in Latin America. Otherwise known as “Top Spring Break Locales for Future i-Bankers:” The UN’s “World...

As part of their ongoing effort to bring you, oh closeted striped-shirt enshrouded i-banker, “snow” for which to “ski” with “snow bunnies” and “prostitutes,” Colombian drug cartels have taken to transporting cocaine in homemade water craft. They are ingenious...

A man named God was arrested in Tampa for selling cocaine near a Church. Sounds about right: Cops had been investigating God Lucky Howard (left) since April, according to this ABC Action News report. Undercover detectives picked him up...

Nicole Richie and boyfriend Joel Madden joined one or both Olsen goblins as they partied it up by drinking Jim Beam from tiny thimbles and smoking itty bitty little joints. There was also dinner (ROFL!) and some cupcakery as...

Rumors are swirling anew that Salma Hayek is getting married to her gazillionaire baby Daddy, François-Henri Pinault: Influmedia.com reports that the 41-year-old Mexican native said yes to her long-time boyfriend, and plans are underway for a ceremony that will...

A video taken shortly after Amy Winehouse and her crack residue of a husband, Blake, exchanged vows and sores in Miami has leaked. The footage shows Amy singing racist song lyrics while playing with her boobs. Stars! They’re just...

A new study shows that Hispanic high schoolers are shooting up, getting drunk, having sex and offing themselves at a higher rate than their Black or White classmates. Because, again, Hispanics cannot be Black, White or Asian: The study...

Remember Jessica Sierra? No, not the one in high school who used to eat glue. Jessica Sierra, from “American Idol?” She had that sex tape? Right, that one. Anyway, she’s still on drugs and still not interested in getting...

In a recent and infinitely wise legislative decision by the Buenos Aires court, possession of “personal use” amounts of illegal substances is a right that is now protected under the Argentinean Constitution. Reading the court’s decision made us pull...

Here’s Angelina Jolie before she was building a tiny soccer team and being all boring. Supposedly, she’s in a drug den but, if that’s the case, it seems like it’s in some sort of futuristic steampunk space ship. She...

The Washington Post has identified over 250 cases in which the government injected detainees scheduled for deportation with antipsychotic drugs - without medical necessity. Curious that all these cases have occurred since 2003, which just so happens to be...

The New York Times took a look at California’s Central Valley, “The Appalachia of the West,” where many migrant workers take pharmaceutical drugs sent by family members in Mexico in order to self-medicate, often using improper doses, because they...

First, please note the title of our source: “Lawmakers Target Psychedelic Herb, Public Urination.” Translation? Lawmakers Target Guanabee Parties. The Senate is proposing a ban on salvia, an herb with psychedelic properties, and charging anyone in possession of it...

Lalaine Vergara Paras, or “Lalaine” as she was credited during her time on “Lizzie McGuire” (like Madonna, kind of, except no one knows who she is) has apparently been pretty busy since the show ended. Did you know she’d...

The euro is our anti-drug, it would seem. Also, bleeding gums. According to anti-drug officials in the U.S, there has been a drop in cocaine seizures here and it’s all thanks to a recession here versus a strong euro...

The “Montana Meth Porject” is a campaign aimed at preventing first-time meth use in Montana. Here’s how they describe their often gruesome public service announcements: The Meth Project is the largest advertiser in Montana, reaching 70-90% of teens three...

Young Texans are becoming increasingly addicted to “cheese” - snortable black-tar heroin cut with crushed sleeping pills, which is probably a little worse than consuming Kraft singles, even. Health officials in Dalls, Texas are growing increasingly worried by the...

The Drug Enforcement Agency recently busted three men in Modesto, California for possession of cocaine. But not just any cocaine! The men were selling brightly-colored, flavored coke because, you know. Kids get bored with party clowns: “Attempting to lure...

A quaint, if somewhat ignorant report published by the United Nations’ International Narcotics Control Board is calling on the governments of Peru and Bolivia to criminalize coca leaf chewing and coca leaf tea making. The report says that “coca...

“Hey stoners and boners!” says Diablo Cody. “Put down that wacky tabacky, ya heard, son? Because it’s making Sexico the wiggidy-wack capital of murderitos with extra NOT sauce, if you catch my drift! Awko taco!:” American drug users are...

In case you or your kids are want for something dangerous to do to your bodies and minds on a Saturday night, Inside Bay Area has some helpful news you can use about a popular new drug that’s totally...

Paco, a highly addictive coke residue ingested through smoking, is taking Argentina by storm. But, like, coca is so healthy and nourishing! Right, Evo?: The surge in drug use has been fueled by porous borders, economic hardship and, more...

The saga of Mexican musician murders continues as authorities confirm the body of 26 year-old singer Jesus Rey David Alfaro Pulido, aka “El Gallito,” was one of six found last week outside Tijuana: Alfaro, a regular act at Tijuana’s...

The New York Times reports that Jesus Malverde, known as the “Mexican Robin Hood” and the “Patron Saint of Drug Dealers,” is gaining more and more popularity in the U.S. thanks to immigrants and their drug-dealing-thief-worshipping ways: [I]mmigrants have...

[Ed. note: Yeah, you like that title? Shut up.] Eva Mendes has checked herself out of the Cirque Lodge Rehabilitation Center in Utah and is back in Los Angeles, which is pretty much the ideal place for people on...

Maria Isabela-Cruz of Dallas got busted with a large amount of metamphetamines with intent to sell last April, then made up a story about having breast cancer to get a shortened sentence. Now it turns out, she never had...

California is set to distribute vending machines that would sell medical marijuana. Oh, hey, guess who has some terrible incurable disease that has just… manifested… itself. Right this moment: The machines can only be used by people who have...

Let’s laugh at FOX reporters as they attempt to discuss Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez’s affinity for coca leaves and paste. Clearly, these people don’t know their cocoa from their coca from a line of coke snorted off an underage...

Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez has been pretty vocal about his love of chewing coca leaves, which have a stimulating effect similar to a cup of coffee. While chewing the leaves, a gift from Bolivian President Evo Morales, at a...

William Torres, a 21-year-old drug dealer from Allentown, Pennsylvania, was arrested on Saturday with two counts of homicide. While dressed like a 14-year-old pregnant chola: Police said Torres, whose last known address was 436 Turner St., Allentown, gunned down...

Rebecca White, former assistant to one Miss Naomi “HugosAndKisses” Campbell, is coming forth with details concerning her one-time employer’s relationship to Heath Ledger: She tells The Sun, “When I was working for Naomi I saw Heath do drugs a...

Alfredo Beltran Leyva, a top player in the Sinaloa drug cartel, has been detained in Mexico: Alfredo Beltran Leyva was detained on Sunday in the north-western city of Culiacan along with three other people, an army spokesman said. They...

The ongoing drug wars in Tijuana, Mexico have taken an increasingly heartbreaking turn as gunmen have begun to include young children in their attacks: In unprecedented attacks, gunmen killed a 3-year-old boy and a 9-year-old girl and seriously wounded...

A three-hour shootout between Mexican armed forces and a Tijuana-based drug cartel has resulted in six dead kidnapping victims: The men had been killed by a shot to the head, a federal agent told a news briefing in the...

Busts on coke smuggling shipments from Latin America were down in 2007, which means dealers are likely using sneakier means of getting you your weekend party fuel, you crazy sweaty skiing motherfucking Wall Street i-bankers, you: Navy Adm. Jim...

A recent slew of kindnappings in Phoenix, Arizona have left cops worried that Latino immigrants are bringing less-than-desirable traditions with them into the United States: The abductions are occurring in the Phoenix area at the rate of practically one...

Pregnant songbird-turned-jailbird [Ed. note: Christ, did we just right that? Blame Monday. And ‘ludes.] Jessica Sierra is getting a chance to get her act together while giving “Loveline” host Dr. Drew a chance to find his name in the...

Well, Britney Spears’ shit has done hit the fan. She was rushed to a hospital this morning after holding her two young children hostage, refusing to turn them over to her ex, Kevin Federline’s, bodyguard. She is said to...

Mexican singer and former child-molester-enabler Gloria Trevi is in trouble again, this time because of her dealings with Fernando Rodríguez Mondragón, whose father was big-time Colombian drug-lord Gilberto Rodríguez Orejuela. In his book El Hijo Del Ajedrista II, [Ed....

The Washington Post has an interesting story today about the dozen murders that have taken place this year amongst Mexico’s musicians. Contrary to popular belief, whether or not a musician sings of drug trafficking, there is a fear amongst...

Mauro Morales is a “peyotero” from Rio Grande City, Texas and our new very best friend in the entire world: Mauro Morales has chickens in his yard, deer antlers hanging from the fence and a shed full of peyote...