Fidel Castro sent a letter to El Granma published on the internet this morning in which he says: I neither will aspire to nor will I accept, the position of president of the council of state and commander-in-chief. After...

On the eve of the U.S. release of his kind-of-sort-of-anticipated-by-us autobiography, Fidel Castro: My Life, El Comandante has pulled off the ultimate PR coup by announcing that he may die. The world has lived on speculative crumbs [Ed. Note:...

It’s been quite a while since we last heard from Fidel Castro, but he’s making up for lost time by sending us a new autobiography just in time for Superbowl Sunday. And it’s full of useful tips like this:...

President Bush is bringing the battle home. Dubya issued a strong warning today that the United States will not tolerate a political transition in Cuba in which power will merely pass to Raúl Castro once his brother, Fidel dies....

The first video footage of Fidel Castro in 14 months is here. Although we are not privy to hearing any of the audio first hand, we did enjoy hearing the English commentator pronounce Fidel’s brother’s name “Rowl.” Also, we...

This weekend, Fidel Castro made his first live broadcast in months on none other than Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez’s television show, “Alo, Presidente!” Sure, it was only a phone call, but it was followed by a videotape of a...

The Cuban leader released a column in official newspapers this weekend declaring that former Spanish Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar tried convincing the U.S. to bomb the hell out of Serbian TV & radio stations during the war in...

Fidel Castro graced television screens across Cuba this weekend for the first time in three months reaffirming our speculation that he sold his soul to the devil. Seriously, how is he still alive? Fidel aka Satan’s pontiff (or is...

Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez was in Brazil today to meet with that country’s president, Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva. Huey, who is secretly gay, took the opportunity to enlighten us about the current state of ‘El Comandante’ Fidel Castro’s...

Fidel Castro decided to honor yesterday’s date the only way he knows how these days: by writing a seemingly endless essay that bashes the American government. (Lucky for us, some Cuban TV personality read it on air last night...

After all our obsessing about Fidel Castro’s impending death, we shouldn’t be surprised that he found out about it. But we kinda were when, this morning, the following email was in our inbox: Having much spare time in my...

Guanabee sat down for a chat with our favorite gay shrink to find out why Fidel Castro is hanging on to this world like an old lady to support hose. Here’s how it went: Guanabee: Let’s cut to the...

This week’s installment of the moribund Cuban dictator’s essay-length “Reflections” is quite the verbose doozie. Fidel Castro’s ghost, er, ghostwriter gets in touch with his snarky side and skewers the so-called “super-revolutionaries” in foreign Marxist nations who’ve called for...

Fidel Castro ain’t dead yet, readers, so this graphic has caught an unexpected second wind. When we said that he danced the babalu yesterday all over reports of his passing, what we really meant was that he was penning...

We’ve had assistant editor Carlos Nobleza Posas continuously pushing refresh on his browser for the past 72 hours and still no news of a dead Cuban dictator. The official word from Havana is that Fidel Castro is very much...

We’ve been reading and hearing rumors on the net and through our well-placed, under-compensated sources that Fidel Castro is no longer with us. These are the kinds of rumors that prompted Cuba’s Foreign Minister to issue a canned, scripted...

It’s been reported that Communist dictator Fidel Castro delegated the Herculean task of calling Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez’s weekly talk show to the Cuban Vice President. The veep had this to say about Castro’s breathless engrossment in the program,...

Communist dictator Fidel Castro has issued a statement saying two Cuban boxers who played hooky at last month’s Pan American Games in Rio de Janeiro in order to defect will not be arrested when they get home. Castro said...

In an essay that hit Havana newsstands today entitled “A Reflection By The Commander-In-Chief: The Eternal Flame,” the vacationing aging Fidel Castro said that Cuba is “marching ahead” without him at the head of the island’s government. We’re not...

Yesterday’s Cuba Revolution Day unofficially marked the one year anniversary of Fidel Castro’s last appearance in public, setting off the chain of events that would lead us to create this Deathwatch. (We would’ve covered the event as it went...

Since it seems the Cuban dictator didn’t write any crazy shit in this weekend’s installment of his weekly editorials, the people at the papers stretched the unlikelihood of Fidel Castro ever returning to the island’s helm into ‘news.’ And...

Our continuing coverage of Fidel Castro’s health is one more way Guanabee is committed to the issues that matter to you. In the latest installment of his diary, Communist dictator Fidel Castro claims Western powers like the U.S. and...

Our continuing coverage of Fidel Castro’s health is one more way Guanabee is committed to the issues that matter to you. The dictator whom the CIA couldn’t take down with exploding cigars now claims a “traitor” that the agency...

Our continuing coverage of Fidel Castro’s health is one more way Guanabee is committed to the issues that matter to you. Cuban Dictator Fidel Castro released an essay to the press yesterday that accuses President George Bush of ordering...

It’s nothing short of amazing what technology can achieve these days. Take, for example, the news that a smirking and witty Fidel Castro made his first TV appearance in four months this past Sunday. Rather than end up in...

Our continuing coverage of Fidel Castro’s health is one more way Guanabee is committed to the issues that matter to you. The papers are all abuzz today with news of Castro’s improving appetite after suspected surgery for “inflamed bulging...