Oh, poo. No one wants to go halfsies with Hugo Chavez on Danny Glover’s new film about Haitian patriot Toussaint L’Ouverture. Remember the sweetheart deal that’s been in the making since last summer? But Danny doesn’t think it’s because...

Chronically and perpetually fatigued former dictator, Fidel Castro, has his own blog! Which is great, because we were wondering when he’d chime in on the whole Selena Gomez / Miley Cyrus / Nick Jonas love triangle. He blogs about...

Venezuelan President and tiny, little roller Hugo Chavez is flying to Spain next week as part of a European tour to meet up with Prime Minister José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero and (heh-heh) King Juan Carlos. You might recall the...

Marisabel Rodriguez, Hugo Chavez’s ex-wife pictured above, has announced this week that she will run for mayor of her Venezuelan hometown with the opposition party Podemos. Rodriguez has been rather outspoken against Chavez’s shenanihans since the two divorced in...

Venezuelan President and international lady killa Hugo Chavez has signed an “intelligence law” that would encourage citizens to spy on and report one another’s actions to the government. After all, sharing is caring: “It’s a system just like Cuba,”...

Rando: An unidentified individual, usually male, who lurks in the background of party photos. So, who was the rando wooing the grossly misshapen Naomi Campbell from the totally sweet, motherfarcing embrace of internationally beloved hottie Hugo Chavez? Oh, some...

It’s been so long since we’ve heard anything from our crazy brother to the South—no, not Satan. Hugo Chavez—we were beginning to think he doesn’t love us anymore. But then he went and called German Chancellor Angela Merkel a...

Demonstrations are set to be held in Miami and other cities today to mark the 6th anniversary of a series of protests and a brief coup d’état against Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. We’ll bring cupcakes: The protests will be...

Venezuela is dismissing documents from Colombia that link President Hugo “Cha Cha” Chavez to Colombian terrolutionaries Farc - $300 million dollars’ worth of linkage, to be precise: The Foreign Ministry said Wednesday that it would return to Colombia documents...

Ricky Martin is against human trafficking. Right up against it. [dlisted] Sean Penn is firmly implanted within Hugo Chavez’s ass, as one reporter discovers. [FOXNews] Amy Winehouse is in talks to promote tiger-print enthusiast Roberto Cavalli. Enabling is in...

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez is angrily spitting little soggy flecks of coca leaf left and right over Republican Presidential hopeful John McCain, accusing the frosty-haired former POW (And former WOW. Check that picture!) of trying to start a war...

When we first read about the recent string of protests in Tibet, we immediately wondered, “Gosh, what does Hugo Chavez have to say about all this?” Luckily for us, Huey took some time out of his busy schedule of...

Peruvian magazine, Caretas has an attention-getting cover this week for the Hugo-Chavez-is-funding-FARC story. Albeit, a little disturbing this early in the morning. Sorry for any breakfasts that just upchucked. After the jump, check out a photo of a rather...

Humanitarian and tireless human rights activist, Hugo Chavez, has appealed to Farc leaders to free their remaining female hostage, former Colombian presidential candidate Ingrid Betancourt, who was kidnapped in 2002: Speaking in Caracas, alongside the mother of captive Ingrid...

Never one to leave us without fodder for our little website, Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez worked himself into a tizzy this weekend over some military strikes Colombia committed in a cross-border raid against a leading FARC rebel commander taking...

“Mission Miracle,” a healthcare initiative conceived by Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, is providing free eye care to poor Nicaraguans. While Venezuelans are kind of left to rot. But whatevs! Eye love you, Nicaraguans: The evolution of the program into...

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has taken steps to eradicate English from businesses, asking his country’s phone company workers to use Spanish equivalents of Anglo-dominated business and technical phrases like “Crazy Language Nazi:” Through a campaign launched Monday, newly nationalized...

Hugo Chavez, who seems to have a lot of free time for the ruler of a nation, spoke with Cuba’s new president in five decades, Raul Castro, on the phone during his weekly radio show: Chavez and Raul Castro...

Hugo Chavez, who has taken it upon himself to act as former Cuban leader Fidel Castro’s spokesperson to anyone who didn’t run away fast enough, offered his view on his BFFeva’s resignation: Chavez acknowledged Tuesday that Castro, who 19...

We love Mana lead singer Fher Olivera, (Did you know that’s his last name? Us either!), if for no other reason than his Jesus complex is rivaled only by Bono’s. So when Fher takes time off from asking where...

Just in time to make you extra glad you have a nice, tall glass of Freedom Milk to go with your Russell-Stover-binge-session-streaked face, Hugo Chavez has threatened to nationalize Nestle and Parmalat plants in Venezuela: Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez...

Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez has threatened to cut the U.S. off from Venezuelan oil if our country does not stop what he calls an “economic war” against his. Waged by giant purple giraffes wearing ascots: His warning came days...

Venezuelan fans of Spanish singer Alejandro Sanz’s lite-rock crooning and oil-drenched locks are sure to be disappointed to find out that the musician’s Venezuelan concert has been canceled. Sanz was originally set to play a concert on Valentine’s Day,...

It kind of seems like everyone, their mom and their creepy older unemployed brother are on Facebook these days, so why should power-hungry, eccentric, coca-licking Hugo Chavez be any different? One intrepid individual, with a lot of time on...

Let’s laugh at FOX reporters as they attempt to discuss Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez’s affinity for coca leaves and paste. Clearly, these people don’t know their cocoa from their coca from a line of coke snorted off an underage...

It’s widely suspected that Hugomi got their start during their now infamous British GQ interview from October of last year. So the editors of Guanabee went back to the beginning to provide you with in between the lines analysis...

Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez has been pretty vocal about his love of chewing coca leaves, which have a stimulating effect similar to a cup of coffee. While chewing the leaves, a gift from Bolivian President Evo Morales, at a...

Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez has called on several South American and Caribbean countries to band together against the U.S. and the evils of capitalism: Mr Chavez has some key allies in his fight against capitalism, globalisation and the US....

Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez has been accused of stealing over 500 tons of food from Alimentos Polar, a major food distribution and one of the largest private businesses in Venezuela. There goes his diet. Although we guess a man...

Hot bitch Javier Solana, the European Union’s foreign policy chief, declared that the Farc will remain on its terror list, despite Venezuelan Hugo Chavez’s insistence that they’re just freedom fighters or tooth fairies or whatever the hell he said:...

The New York Times has a story today about the influx of middle and upper-class Venezuelans moving into Florida since Hugo Chavez’s rise to power: According to census data, the Venezuelan community in the United States has grown more...

In an article that has since been pulled from its website, El Universal claims that Hugo Chavez will be off the market very soon (sorry ladies!), as he might be planning to propose to Naomi Campbell at some point...

We’re still coming to terms with the visual implications of a love match between British supermodel Naomi Campbell and Venezuelan superprez Hugo Chavez. After spending most of the night curled up in the fetal position rocking ourselves back and...

Now that it’s practically official that socialist dictator (ehhh don’t write in and complain) Hugo Chavez and fascist supermodel Naomi Campbell are an item, we thought it only right we give them their very own super-couple nickname. Henceforth, they...

A reliable tipster writes to say: Univision’s “Flaco y Gordo” (sic) is reporting that Naomi Campbell is allegedly having an affair with Hugo Chavez, president of Venezuela and socialist pig. We did not add the pig part. Although we...

President Hugo Chavez would rather you not classify those fun-loving ragamuffins in Farc as terrorists. After all, what’s a little kidnapping, rape and torture now and again? They’re more like a frat, really: “The Farc and the ELN are...

No, no, no, no! Word around the internet is that supermodel cum journalist Naomi Campbell and Venezuelan megalomaniacal dictator cum chatshow crooner Hugo Chavez could be playing hide the Venezuelan salami. After saying, “NO FUCKING WAY!” like six times...

Clara Rojas and Consuelo Gonzalez have finally been freed after having been held as hostages by Farc for several years. The two women were flown from Colombia to Venezuela: Earlier they were flown out of the Colombian jungle by...

Naomi Campbell proved there’s no such thing as journalism writers and Blackberry-wielding-multimillionaire-supermodels really aren’t so different after all by interviewing Hugo Chavez for GQ magazine. So what did the controversial world leader and angry model have to talk about?...

You might recall that Farc had decided to hand over three hostages, including former aide Clara Rojas’ son, a young boy fathered by one of their guerrilla members, over to Hugo Chavez because he’s such a swell kind of...

In an effort to reduce Venezuela’s inflation rate, the highest in Latin America, President Hugo Chavez has revived the colonial “locha” coin: The locha is worth 12.5 cents, or an eighth of a new “strong bolivar,” a currency that...

Well the final hours of 2007 are winding down and you know what that means: nothing. Time is a construct of man. But let’s play along, shall we? Let’s take a look back at the seven glorious months since...

Colombian rebels have decided to release three hostages - former Colombian congresswoman Consuelo Gonzalez, former aide Colombian presidential candidate Ingrid Betancourt, Clara Rojas, and Rojas’ son Emmanuel, who was fathered by a guerrilla fighter: Colombia agreed Wednesday to allow...

This past Friday, while most of you were probably, ironically, drinking Cuba Libres until you soiled your Hugo Chavez hotpants and woke up covered in body oil, Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez was in Cuba talking petroleum:...

A Venezuelan armed forces intelligence captain was found carrying over $800,000 in Bolivia. Suspicious… or delicious?: A Bolivian police commander said the man was carrying a contract worth $870,000, not cash. But opposition Sen. Walter Guiteras and a community...

Having been granted an audience with Hugo Chavez in October for a piece in GQ, the magazine’s editor, Dylan Jones, has revealed he has a whole host of political firebrands in line for the supermodel to grill. Next up?...

Clara Rojas, the campaign manager for kidnapped Colombian politician and anti-corruption activist Ingrid Betancourt, is expected to be released: Colombia’s Marxist FARC rebels Tuesday ordered the release of Clara Rojas, kidnapped with French-Colombian politician Ingrid Betancourt in 2002, and...

Argentine soccer legend [Ed. note: Actually, we don’t know anything about soccer, except that David Beckham looks great shirtless. But “legend” sounds good, no?] Diego Maradona is getting Hugo Chavez’s ruggedly handsome visage tattooed on his flesh: “I’d like...

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and Prince Felipe of Asturias yiffed met in “total normalcy” at an event preceding the inauguration of Argentina’s new president, Cristina Kirchner: Their meeting — which was the first following an impasse between Chávez and...

At a recent concert in Miami, Spanish singer Alejandro Sanz sent some fans into a tizzy when he donned a “Chavez Sucks” t-shirt: While Sanz was performing “La Habana,” a female fan threw a Venezuelan flag at the singer,...