16 November 2009

The Decapitator Works His Photoshop Guillotine Magic On Shakira

By mario.almeida at 2:53 PM.

3 Comments

12 November 2009

Shakira’s Back To Dreads, Inspires Trip Down Memory Lane

By Alex Alvarez at 12:20 PM.

3 Comments

Shakira, whose breasts are small and humble so as not to be confused with mountains, sported long dreads at a party celebrating her recent Rolling Stone cover. Is she going back to her roots?

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5 November 2009

New Argentina Jersey Looks Alot Like The Old One

By Fidel Martinez at 7:03 PM.

One Comment

26 October 2009

No, Really: Shakira Is Seeing A Freudian Therapist About Her Oral Fixation

By Alex Alvarez at 9:56 AM.

7 Comments

Shakira, she of truthful hips, is in therapy with a Freudian analyst, according to a recent interview for Rolling Stone magazine. Among the topics the Colombian singer is apparently broaching with her therapist is her oral fixation. Again.

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16 October 2009

Rainbow Brite Is Back And Bratzified

By Alex Alvarez at 10:50 AM.

9 Comments

Now we can add Rainbow Brite to the short list of female cartoon characters who’ve been injected with sex appeal while being placed on a strict diet, thanks to Hallmark.

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15 October 2009

Meghan McCain Threatens To Leave Twitter After Being Labeled A Slut

By Alex Alvarez at 12:44 PM.

10 Comments

Meghan McCain, tireless defender of Goth teens, recently received some flack from several people on Twitter after she posted a picture of herself holding up a book while wearing a rather form-fitting tank top.

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18 September 2009

Vanessa Hudgens Will Remind You That You’ve Seen Her Naked And It Was OMG So Embarrassing For Her

By Alex Alvarez at 4:17 PM.

3 Comments

Vanessa Hudgens, who was our favorite Fauxtina until we learned she is actually partially of Hispanic descent, wishes we’d all just stop talking about her nude / sexy pictures. Did you know she had nude pics? Nude pics, nude pics, nude pics.

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12 August 2009

Univision, Home Of News Anchors In Bustiers, Reveals Latinas Care About Beauty

By Alex Alvarez at 12:23 PM.

9 Comments

Univision has revealed carefully compiled research indicating that Latinas are concerned with beauty - almost to the point that it colors all our social interactions and leaves us, crippled with shame and clutching a tube of lipstick, shaking in a corner.

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6 August 2009

The Papification Of Ricky: Ricky Martin Twitters Baby Bathing Pics

By Alex Alvarez at 10:23 AM.

2 Comments

Ricky Martin has readily traded golden showers for baby baths. Yesterday, Ricky Twittered this picture of himself giving one of his twin sons his first bath. Awwww, right? But, make no mistake, posting this particular picture was a pretty savvy career move on Ricky’s part.

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15 July 2009

Pee Wee Says He Was Shy About Kissing Sherlyn, Likes It Both Ways

By Alex Alvarez at 12:30 PM.

One Comment

Here’s why we’re not buying Pee Wee’s insistence that he’s a shy virginal baby pony.

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6 July 2009

The Beyoncification Of Shakira: Part VIII

By Alex Alvarez at 12:00 PM.

16 Comments

Shakira is continuing her strange and wondrous metamorphosis into Beyoncé by dressing up in a sort of drag queenesque homage to the entertainer during a recent photo shoot.

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3 July 2009

Shakira Wants To Be A Mom. Let’s Play “Predict Her Reinvention!”

By Alex Alvarez at 10:20 AM.

2 Comments

Shakira wants to have a baby, which means she has a lot of work to do for her inevitable Hola photo spread. But what image would suit her best?

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17 June 2009

Eva Mendes’ Newest Calvin Klein Ad Campaign Prompts Query: What The Hell Is Eva Trying To Do To Us?

By Alex Alvarez at 4:30 PM.

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In which we have a heart to fart with Eva Mendes on the state of her career.

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27 April 2009

Three Things Jennifer Lopez Can Do To Revamp Her Diva Image

By Alex Alvarez at 12:00 PM.

2 Comments

Jenny from the Block™ isn’t a lost cause - we know that deep down, underneath the extensions and mink eyelashes and lip reduction surgeries, she’s still the same Fly Girl. Here are three tips on how she can reclaim her fan base without further alienating her public.

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