Jessica Alba dressed as Dora The Explorer for Heidi Klum’s Halloween party. Her husband Cash Warren dressed as Diego, but no one cares.
2 November 2009
29 October 2009
So What Do We Think About George Lopez’s First Round Of Guests?
By Alex Alvarez at 3:19 PM.
By now you are all aware that George Lopez is set to terrorize America with his new late-night talk show, Lopez Tonight. But we’ll bet you didn’t know about all the exciting guest stars he’ll be featuring on the show’s premiere episode November 9th!
1 October 2009
Gueys Of The World: Con Monica, Jessica & Anna Nicole
By Alejandro Paz at 5:20 PM.
Orale gueys, apologies for the delay in regularly scheduled programming, but we were out getting WAYsted with all y’all Guanababies last night and didn’t have a computer available to do some drunk posting like other industrious members of our crew. Check these links from our homies.
29 September 2009
Jessica Alba Gets A Tattoo Removed. Oddly, No, Not The One Coming Out Of Her Ass.
By Alex Alvarez at 9:00 AM.
Of all the tattoos that Jessica Alba has, why did she choose to remove the one that was something other than a bow leaping out of her butt crack?
28 September 2009
A Quick Memo To Jessica Alba, Re: Hair
By Alex Alvarez at 11:28 AM.
It’s so obvious Jessica Alba reads Guanabee, like, every day. Especially when it comes to our unsolicited advice on her hair color.
26 September 2009
A Letter To Jessica Alba
By Alex Alvarez at 10:20 AM.
Dear Jess,
Can we call you Jess? No, hush. Don’t speak. Now is the time to listen.
31 August 2009
20 August 2009
Jessica Alba Is On The Set Of MACHETE. And We’re Ok With It. We Think.
By Alex Alvarez at 5:59 PM.
Just when we thought we had lost all hope in Robert Rodriguez’s MACHETE (We’re looking at you, wet-muskrat-stapled-to-Lindsay’s-head.), along come pictures of Jessica Alba with Michelle Rodriguez. And she’s smiling. It is like this movie is made of magic and love.
3 August 2009
28 July 2009
14 July 2009
7 July 2009
29 June 2009
Ever Since Jazze Removed The Stick From Jessica’s Ass, They’ve Been Thick As Thieves
By Cindy Casares at 11:33 AM.
Jessica Alba and Jazze Pha pal around at P-Diddy’s Last Train To Paris party after the BET awards Sunday.
19 June 2009
Jessica Alba Donated Some Of Her Couch Cushion Change To The United Way As A Sorry For Defacing Their Ads
By Alex Alvarez at 10:51 AM.
Jessica Alba - wife, mother, “actress,” friend to sharks - has given a donation of more than $500 to the United Way after vandalizing one of their billboards.
11 June 2009
“I got involved in something I should have had no part of.” Sigh.
By Cindy Casares at 5:00 PM.
Jessica Alba has released a statement regarding her involvement with
organized, hipster vandalism. And it’s predictably pussy sounding.
9 June 2009
Jessica Alba Has Attacked Oklahoma With Sharks
By Cindy Casares at 5:01 PM.
Attention Oklahoma: if you see a great, white Mexican girl circling your billboards, call the cops. Repeat, if you see a great, white Mexican girl circling your billboards, SHE IS ARMED WITH HOT GLUE AND DANGEROUS. CALL THE COPS. OR LA MIGRA. HAVE THAT CRAZY BITCH DEPORTED.
