18 November 2009

Jessica Alba Lets Hillary Clinton Touch Her Ball

By mario.almeida at 12:27 PM.

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9 November 2009

Jessica Alba Spanked In ‘The Killer Inside Me’ NSFW

By Nacomprende at 2:54 PM.

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2 November 2009

Fotopost: Jessica Alba Thinner Than Dora The Explorer, That Heifer

By Cindy Casares at 4:07 PM.

4 Comments

Jessica Alba dressed as Dora The Explorer for Heidi Klum’s Halloween party. Her husband Cash Warren dressed as Diego, but no one cares.

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29 October 2009

So What Do We Think About George Lopez’s First Round Of Guests?

By Alex Alvarez at 3:19 PM.

15 Comments

By now you are all aware that George Lopez is set to terrorize America with his new late-night talk show, Lopez Tonight. But we’ll bet you didn’t know about all the exciting guest stars he’ll be featuring on the show’s premiere episode November 9th!

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1 October 2009

Gueys Of The World: Con Monica, Jessica & Anna Nicole

By Alejandro Paz at 5:20 PM.

2 Comments

Orale gueys, apologies for the delay in regularly scheduled programming, but we were out getting WAYsted with all y’all Guanababies last night and didn’t have a computer available to do some drunk posting like other industrious members of our crew. Check these links from our homies.

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29 September 2009

Jessica Alba Gets A Tattoo Removed. Oddly, No, Not The One Coming Out Of Her Ass.

By Alex Alvarez at 9:00 AM.

4 Comments

Of all the tattoos that Jessica Alba has, why did she choose to remove the one that was something other than a bow leaping out of her butt crack?

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28 September 2009

A Quick Memo To Jessica Alba, Re: Hair

By Alex Alvarez at 11:28 AM.

9 Comments

It’s so obvious Jessica Alba reads Guanabee, like, every day. Especially when it comes to our unsolicited advice on her hair color.

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Jessica Alba’s Hairstyles

By Alex Alvarez at 11:24 AM.

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26 September 2009

A Letter To Jessica Alba

By Alex Alvarez at 10:20 AM.

7 Comments

Dear Jess,

Can we call you Jess? No, hush. Don’t speak. Now is the time to listen.

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31 August 2009

Jessica Alba Thinks Honor Is A Handful

By Alex Alvarez at 5:24 PM.

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20 August 2009

Jessica Alba Is On The Set Of MACHETE. And We’re Ok With It. We Think.

By Alex Alvarez at 5:59 PM.

5 Comments

Just when we thought we had lost all hope in Robert Rodriguez’s MACHETE (We’re looking at you, wet-muskrat-stapled-to-Lindsay’s-head.), along come pictures of Jessica Alba with Michelle Rodriguez. And she’s smiling. It is like this movie is made of magic and love.

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Jessica Alba MACHETE Photos

By Alex Alvarez at 5:56 PM.

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3 August 2009

Afterbirth: Jessica Alba Bikini Pictures

By Nacomprende at 11:32 AM.

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Jessica Alba Bikini Gallery 2009

By Nacomprende at 11:27 AM.

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28 July 2009

Jessica Alba Weight Loss Ad

By Alex Alvarez at 3:58 PM.

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14 July 2009

Jessica Alba: A Vision In Spite

By Alex Alvarez at 3:23 PM.

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7 July 2009

Jessica Alba Goes Blonder Than Ever

By Alex Alvarez at 4:02 PM.

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29 June 2009

Ever Since Jazze Removed The Stick From Jessica’s Ass, They’ve Been Thick As Thieves

By Cindy Casares at 11:33 AM.

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Jessica Alba and Jazze Pha pal around at P-Diddy’s Last Train To Paris party after the BET awards Sunday.

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19 June 2009

Jessica Alba Donated Some Of Her Couch Cushion Change To The United Way As A Sorry For Defacing Their Ads

By Alex Alvarez at 10:51 AM.

One Comment

Jessica Alba - wife, mother, “actress,” friend to sharks - has given a donation of more than $500 to the United Way after vandalizing one of their billboards.

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11 June 2009

“I got involved in something I should have had no part of.” Sigh.

By Cindy Casares at 5:00 PM.

One Comment

Jessica Alba has released a statement regarding her involvement with
organized, hipster vandalism. And it’s predictably pussy sounding.

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